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Dancing with the Stars recap: Week seven

With most of the weak Dancing with the Stars contestants culled from the pack, it’s on to hard-core dancing. That includes what was an often dangerous group dance that this week left Ty with a black eye.

Lawrence dressed Edyta, seriously!As he told Chelsea Handler on her talk show, Ty threw his partner in the air, and her mic pack slipped loose and smacked him in the eye. Seriously, he was safer riding bulls!

In general, this week on Dancing with the Stars was anti-climactic for me. Last week, they made a big deal out of how the celebs were going to design the clothes for their pro partners. Yeah, right. I think the wardrobe department had more to do with it than the celebs, as the clothes were all appropriate for the dances. The only really unusual item was the gorgeous Russian-inspired coat on Edtya.

Edtya dressed!

Never have we seen her wearing so much. Underneath she had a fabulous gown with long flowing scarves that ran from her hand to her back — lovely to look at but dangerous to dance in. The scarf got caught around her head at one point, but pro that she is, she got it undone with nary a missed step. Her Viennese waltz with Lawrence still won’t get any votes from me. I would like to see him gone this week.Melissa and Tony opened the show with a sassy Argentine tango that Len summed up as, “Don’t touch what you can’t afford.” Effortless as usual, they had these lovely lifts (which are allowed in this dance), and it gave them a near-perfect score. But did you notice Melissa clutching her side over and over? Turns out she was dancing with bruised ribs. Ouch, those lifts have gotta hurt.

Derek tried to appease Len by taking the edge off of Lil’ Kim’s rumba, but it backfired, with all three judges saying they were underwhelmed by the understated movements of the usually raunchy rapper. So imagine my surprise when they were awarded two 9s and an 8 — pretty good for such harsh words.

Another couple who scored too highly in my opinion was Chuck and Julianne. They pulled triple 9s with their pajamas-clad samba. I didn’t like it at all. I feel like Chuck has reached his full potential — not the worst on the floor, but he doesn’t have that smooth edge that Gilles has.

I doubt Chuck will be going home soon, but I can’t see them winning this thing.

Chuck and Julianne got inflated scoresIn the same category are Ty and Chelsie. They did a very sweet waltz to Strawberry Wine, and Len said it had more rise and fall than a bride’s nighty! What is a shame here was the missed opportunity. Ty was complaining that Chelsie was more like a daughter to him, so he couldn’t muster the romance of the waltz. So why not make it a sweet father-daughter waltz? Plenty of country songs would have fit the theme, and it could have been a nice twist on the usual.

Shawn’s journeys

Shawn and Mark were up after a jam-packed week for the young gymnast. She had to fly all across the US to pick up two awards, and she even missed the group rehearsal. I wish she would have missed the performance as well, because I hated the Michael Jackson-esque cha cha to Pretty Young Thing. Mark’s hair was distracting, Shawn’s movements were awkward and unsure, and still they pulled a 28 — giving them their first 10. I don’t get it.Gilles and Cheryl brought up the rear with their charming waltz. Gorgeous costumes, romantic storyline and the details, oh the details! These two always dance right down to the nails on their fingers and the tips of their noses. But what’s this? Three 9s only? Methinks the judges expect too much.Finally, it was time for the much anticipated group dance number. After a fun rehearsal package all about the swinging 60s, it all went to boring when the lights went down and the black and white came up — first off, worst song choice ever. “Three, six, nine, the goose drank wine, the monkey chewed tobacco on the streetcar line…” This old jumprope-jingle-turned-pop-tune is not made for choreographed dancing! Second, the girls’ go-go pedestals were so spread apart, the cameraman was forced to miss half the action. Lawrence was in the background just walking through the motions. The rest of them managed, but it wasn’t exciting or cute.Next week, we’re in for something new. It’s the Pick the Pro competition that will have several young dancers competing for a spot on next year’s roster. I love this idea, and I’ll bet we’ll be seeing a number of familiar faces from So You Think You Can Dance.Best song: Ty and Cheslie’s Strawberry Wine Waltz!Best dress: Edyta’s gorgeous Dr. Zhivago coat was to die for, but it was the dress underneath that nearly killed her!Worst dress: Chuck and Julianne get the worst-dressed award for their red satin pajamas set. I didn’t like the look on Lacey last week and like it even less now.Tune in tonight to see who goes home, but first there will be plenty of music and dance! It’s Dancing with the Stars tonight at 9:00 on ABC.Photos: ABC/Kelsey McNeal

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