10 signs you are not going to win American Idol
From the home office in Wahoo, Nebraska...
It is "The Late Show Top Ten Signs You're Not Going to Win 'American Idol.'"
Dave's list is great, since there is only one winner, this Top 10 fits the other 300 million of us in America.
10. Judges harshly critique your performance before you sing.
9. Most of the votes you received - wrong numbers.
8. When you sing, that thing on Amy Winehouse's head starts yelping.
7. Producers refuse to tell you where the finale is being held.
6. Even Dick Cheney thinks what you do is cruel and inhumane.
5. While talking to Ryan Seacrest, you nervously yell, "No deal, Howie!"
4. Every time you hit a high note, your pants fall down.
3. No number 3 - writer playing Grand Theft Auto 4 on Xbox - promises jokes tomorrow.
2. Even Hillary admits you have no chance.
1. You're so desperate, you skipped Paula and slept with Randy.
Courtesy of CBS