For a couple of reality TV stars, Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler have managed to keep the details of their divorce surprisingly quiet. Sure, there have been the usual rumors that someone cheated, or someone played dirty while fighting for custody, but no one’s had even a strong working theory of why this 10-year marriage fell apart — until now, when Cavallari decided it was time to reveal her truth. The reality star opened up about why she and Cutler ultimately had to separate, giving new details in an earnest account of a relationship that she tried very hard to save. And once we heard Cavallari’s description outright, it almost seemed silly that we hadn’t guessed the reason for their separation sooner.
For Cavallari, what seemed like a sudden split to the outside world was actually the accumulation of years of working through issues, trying to create change, and agonizing over the right thing to do next.
“I always thought it was interesting when people would refer to us as ‘couple goals.’ I was like, ‘If you guys only knew,'” she admits to People. “It didn’t happen overnight. We tried really, really hard for years and years. It was the hardest decision I’ve ever made.”
But as a 33-year-old mom of three, Cavallari eventually had to accept that this was no longer working for her.
“I met Jay when I was 23. I was a baby. Jay and I had so much love for each other, but we grew up,” she explains. “When you work at something for so many years and nothing’s changing, I think you have to just make a decision. We all want to be happy.”
While Keeping Cavallari may have painted a rosy view of their bond, Cavallari reveals that her relationship problems have been at the forefront of her mind for years.
“It wore at me every single day,” she says. “I feel like my whole world is opening up now because of it, and I’m just feeling the best I’ve felt in a really long time. I’m really excited about the future all around.”
“I’m proud for making this decision,” she adds — and hearing about the mental toll their marriage was taking on her, and the relief she feels with more space, we’re proud too.
Before you go, click here to see all the celebrity breakups in 2020.