If there’s anything you want to know about singer and actress Jana Kramer, there’s a surefire way to find out: just ask! The Michigan-born star is known for her no-holds-barred honesty, whether it’s an Instagram update about her home life or another tell-all episode of hit podcast Whine Down with Jana Kramer and Michael Caussin. Kramer co-hosts the podcast with husband Caussin, and a frequent topic of oh-so-honest discussion is Caussin’s struggles with sex addiction, and how that’s affected their marriage. At SHE Media’s #BlogHer20 Parenting event, Kramer pulled back the curtain on not just how she feels about Caussin’s struggles, but why they decided to be so open about it in the first place. Spoiler alert: Her motivation is seriously inspiring.
Kramer and Caussin share two kids together, 1-year-old son Jace Joseph and 4-year-old daughter Jolie Rae. And while they’re currently tag-teaming the momentous task of looking after both those kiddos on lockdown, things weren’t always so harmonious. In 2016, Caussin’s infidelity led the couple to split for a year while he sought treatment for his sex addiction. Since then, they’ve enlisted therapy, new communication strategies, and more to rebuild trust — and Kramer’s included her fans every step of the way.
“It was his decision to come out about his addiction,” Kramer told SheKnows Parenting Editor Amelia Edelman. “That was hard and we all knew there would be backlash, but at the same time when we were going through all that there was no one that I could look to that I could find hope in. So that’s what I’m hoping to be for those other couples out there that may be having a hard time or going through something.”
Kramer admitted she’s felt alone through many moments in her life: while managing her anxiety, managing life as a new mom, and managing her grief after a miscarriage. Each time, any hesitation she felt about making her struggle public was countered by her desire to make sure no one else had to struggle in silence.
“Selfishly, I started to put things out because I’ve always felt really alone…and I’ve realized I’m not,” Kramer said. “So, the more I put it out, the more selfishly I get some kind of gratification that I’m not alone, and that maybe I’m also helping other people by sharing what’s going on in my life, because maybe it’s also happening to you at home.”
Of course, Kramer still struggles to tune out the haters: “There’s times when I’m like, maybe we’ve overshared,” the One Tree Hill alum said “The other day I was reading reviews and I got super down…they think we’re crazy!”
But she reminds herself that those people are struggling too, and tries to stay focused on what she can control — like the work she puts into her marriage with Caussin.
“We’ve been through so much therapy and we’re constantly working on our stuff,” she said. “It’s just about over-communicating. We do a lot of check-ins at night.”
As a public figure, you always run the risk of backlash, and it’s no secret that online detractors can be especially cruel. But Kramer’s mission — to ensure that others know they’re not alone in whatever they’re facing — is way stronger than any hate that comes her way, and we love her for it.
Before you go, check out the most inspiring quotes from the #BlogHer19 Creators Summit.