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Gwyneth Paltrow’s ‘Quaranteen’ Daughter Apple Made Her Mom a Hilarious To-Do List

Looking for an activity to while away your quarantine restlessness? Maybe you should ask your kids for suggestions. Gwyneth Paltrow’s daughter Apple made her a to-do list, and it’s hilarious and on-the-nose in equal measure. Clearly, the 15-year-old “quaranteen,” as Paltrow has dubbed her daughter, has a keen grasp of her mogul mom’s Goop priorities.

Like the rest of us, Paltrow has been hunkered down with her family at their home amid the novel coronavirus. And although social distancing means Paltrow isn’t going into the office, it doesn’t mean she isn’t thinking about her lifestyle empire — a fact Apple has clearly picked up on. On Tuesday night, Paltrow took to Instagram to share a snapshot of a note left for her by her beautiful (and funny) daughter. “Make more vagina eggs & candles,” Apple’s note reads, nodding to two of the most iconic products in her mom’s Goop products lineup.

Paltrow captioned the post, “Apples interpretation of my to-do list #quaranteen.” And, c’mon, this is kind of perfect, no? ICYMI, Goop basically broke the internet last year when it debuted a candle by Heretic dubbed “This Smells Like My Vagina.” It’s described as a “funny, gorgeous, sexy, and beautifully unexpected scent.”

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Apples interpretation of my to-do list #quaranteen

A post shared by Gwyneth Paltrow (@gwynethpaltrow) on

Not surprisingly, it sold out in mere moments (despite the fact it’ll set you back $75).

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Image: Goop. Goop.
'This Smells Like My Vagina' Candle $75

As for the “vagina eggs,” Apple is referring to Goop’s Jade Egg — a $66 spherical gemstone you gently insert into your vajeen to strengthen your pelvic core. “Yoni eggs harness the power of energy work, crystal healing, and a Kegel-like physical practice,” the website explains.

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Image: Goop. Goop.
Goop Jade Egg $66

It seems to us like Apple may have a bit of her mama’s entrepreneurial edge. And sarcasm, too. Either way, Paltrow’s famous friends found the note to be a LOL-inducing quarantine distraction. “Hahahahaha she’s a genius,” Mindy Kaling gushed.

And Rob Lowe’s son John Lowe joked he’d take “5 of both.” So, hey, it looks like Apple may be onto something after all.

Before you go, check out some of Goop’s most outrageous products

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