Skip to main content Skip to header navigation

Chelsea Handler Says She Sometimes Masturbates Instead of Meditating — & Same

Chelsea Handler is always refreshingly honest (but like, actually honest). Now in her 40s, she says she’s finally learned how to slow down — not career-wise, but in how she lives her life, minute to minute. She actually feels happy these days, and she credits therapy, meditation, and weed (amen) with her transformation. And while Handler hasn’t turned into a wellness guru (yet), Goop might want to take notes. Handler says that masturbation works just as well as meditation — and thank God someone is talking about this!

Handler spoke to Health about her happiness journey, which she defines as “to be anxiety-free, ready for anything, and to have an optimistic outlook about what happens in your day. No matter what, you have to find the positive.”

“Therapy, meditation, and weed — those are the three things that really changed me,” she said. “Meditation always annoyed me, and people talking about meditating annoyed me. I tried with my psychiatrist several times. He made me short recordings and long recordings, and then I’d meditate. Sometimes I’d just masturbate. They both start with m, and your brain lets you relax after each one, so who cares?”

Handler now says she gets up at 5 a.m. every day, has meditated every morning for over a year, and exercises most days. On the surface, it would be easy for me to dismiss her as another celeb with a flawless routine, one that I could never really commit to or afford —  but as soon as she said she masturbates instead of meditating sometimes, I was all in.

These days, Handler is seriously just trying to be happy: “Vanity has a lot to do with it,” she admits. “But when you get past that part, there are so many benefits that come your way from living a healthier lifestyle.”

Handler, like the rest of us, is just trying to feel good and following what works. Whether it’s Instagram-friendly wellness like a meditation routine or just getting down and dirty with yourself for a minute, she does it for how it makes her feel not how it looks. And isn’t that the wellness message we all really need?

Click here for a list of 14 female comedians who are killing it right now.

Leave a Comment