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Matthew McConaughey Just Made His Instagram Debut in the Weirdest Way

It’s officially a new trend: After Jennifer Aniston’s absurdly successful Instagram debut on Oct. 15, at least one other celeb has now officially taken the bait and joined too. Matthew McConaughey joined Instagram with a bizarre video announcing his intentions for the profile on Nov. 4, his 50th birthday — here’s what he had to say.

First, let’s set the scene: McConaughey’s Instagram (handle: @officiallymcconaughey) includes a profile photo of the actor in a cowboy hat, smoking a cigar and throwing up his index and pinky finger (sure, why not). His bio reads: “Husband. Father. Actor. Minister of Culture. Professor. Creative Director. AustinFC. JKLivin. Pickle Expert.” (We’re on board for the first three, medium on the middle three, and hopelessly lost by the last.)

His first (and currently only) post is a video with lots of interesting editing choices. There’s a goofy font writing out subtitles — for the first two sentences. He’s wearing a denim jacket and backwards baseball cap, and there’s a vignette effect around the frame the entire time, an artistic decision we’d like to think McConaughey insisted on. (Note: PopSugar has identified the Instagram filter as X-Pro II.)

Ready for your first look? Here you go:

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officially mcconaughey

A post shared by Matthew McConaughey (@officiallymcconaughey) on

Okay! More to unpack. Did McConaughey write this himself? Why doesn’t he want to look at the camera? Are there cue cards in the room, or an encouraging friend? Why did he use multiple takes and cut them together instead of talking directly into his phone in the classical Instagram fashion? So. Many. Questions!!!

All in all, it’s about as unsettling as you’d expect from the True Detective star — and that’s before we even get to what he’s saying. Here’s the full transcript below:

When people come to my page, I want them to see me. Look, this is my first venture into sharing myself and my views with the world and I’m a little bit nervous about it because quite frankly I’m — I know I want to have a monologue, I’m not sure I want to have the dialogue (laughs). But I’ve learned that you gotta have the dialogue to have the monologue, just as you have to have a monologue to have the dialogue.

So I’m looking forward to it, I’m looking forward to sharing who I am with you, I’m looking forward to seeing if who I am translates, if what I want to share translates. If it tickles your funny bone, if it makes you think a second, makes your heart swell up a little bit, if it makes you take a quiet moment for a walk and go, ‘I gotta check in with the M and the E.’ Hopefully all those things.  I gotta check in with the M hopefully all those things let’s have some fun with it though, and let’s — again, let’s keep the high eye and not the low eye. High eye.

Finally, Cosmopolitan pointed out one more interesting detail. While Aniston literally crashed the site within 24 hours of joining Instagram, McConaughey has yet to hit 1 million followers (a pretty standard benchmark for a star at his level).

Are people really so much less interested in McConaughey — or is it just that no one can figure out how to spell his name? Time will tell.

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