Why Dean McDermott Calls Vacationing With Wife Tori Spelling and 5 Kids ‘an Orgy’

Some things are better left unsaid — and Dean McDermott comparing his family vacation to an orgy definitely qualifies. Are you thinking, “Wait, what?” Join the club. The Slasher actor and father of five made what may be the most unfortunate analogy in the history of analogies this week when he tried to explain why he and Tori Spelling’s recent trip to Hawaii wasn’t quite as enjoyable as they’d hoped.

On the Monday episode of his Daddy Issues podcast, McDermott opened up about going to Maui with Spelling and their five kids, sons Liam, 12, Finn, 7, Beau, 2, and daughters Stella, 11, and Hattie, 7. The assumption, of course, is that any trip to Hawaii is a good trip. But as McDermott tells it, not so much. “Maui is amazing, but going to Maui with five kids is like going to an orgy in your honor with your five kids,” he joked with co-hosts Adam Hunter and Nicky Paris.

Clearly, we need more context. “You have paradise right in front of you. You’re scuba diving and paddleboarding, and they’re like, ‘Hey, Dad! Come and watch me do shitty cannonballs in the pool.’ I’m like, ‘Ahh!’ I’ve seen so many bad cannonballs. God bless them. They’re so excited about it, right?” McDermott said. Ultimately, he insisted he needed “Xanax and a lot of Mai Tais” after the 10-day trip.

McDermott went on to describe some of the other sub-par parts of the trip. “Liam got stung by a bee on the bottom of his foot, and then Stella got stung on the palm of her hand. [Stella] ended up getting a bit of a staph infection,” he said. “It swelled up. Liam is [allergic], but nothing happens to Liam. Stella’s hand and her arm swelled up, and she had a red line going up [her arm]. We went to the hospital. We were supposed to fly home the next day.”

Hmm, okay. So, it sounds like McDermott was trying to say that Maui is a sensory overload in a good way, but bringing kids into the mix detracts from the experience, making it more stressful than enjoyable. Sure. We get it. But McDermott should file an internal memo now — using the word “orgy” in the context of family? Never a good idea.

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