The teaser trailer for Season 23 of The Bachelor has arrived! And it keeps reminding viewers of one thing: Colton Underwood is a virgin.
If you get nothing else from the minute-and-a-half video montage of Underwood’s time as the master of roses, you should get that. But also, there will be tears — from Underwood many of his romantic hopefuls.
We wouldn’t even be surprised if host Chris Harrison breaks down at one point.
But the tears aren’t going to be front and center this year. Even if Underwood manages to emerge from the Fantasy Suites with his virginity intact, the whole “virgin Bachelor” gimmick will definitely be getting plenty of screen time.
The promo starts with season 23’s contestants ogling Underwood’s “chiseled god” body while he showers shirtless. Ah, yes, the shirtless shower scene — we remember it well from past seasons.
Then we get a glimpse at some of the women vying for Underwood’s heart. Like, for example, one enthusiastic blonde who reveals during her first-impression moment, “I haven’t dated a virgin since I was 12.”
While on a trip abroad during the season, one woman teases Underwood losing his virginity, hinting that she can’t say it won’t happen.
However, it’s not all fun and games (read: shower scenes and sexual innuendo). In the immortal words of Harrison, this may be the most dramatic season ever judging by the sheer volume of tears shed in its teaser trailer.
At one point, a tearful Underwood laments, “Every time I put myself out there, I get rejected.” Ultimately, he appears to storm off set, telling producers he’s “done” before hopping a tall white perimeter fence at Bachelor mansion.
Of course, it’s safe to assume Harrison, the Bachelor-whisperer, calmed Underwood down enough to bring him back and the season resumed according to plan.
Underwood first found love in Bachelor Nation when he appeared as a suitor on Becca Kufrin’s season of The Bachelorette. Unfortunately, Kufrin sent Underwood home, leaving the former pro football player perplexed and heartbroken.
Little did he know that Tia Booth — a Bachelor Nation alum he’d dated in between seasons of the franchise — had revealed to Kufrin she still had feelings for Underwood. That, along with Kufrin’s deepening feelings for finalists Blake Horstmann and Garett Yrigoyen, undoubtedly influenced Kufrin’s decision to send Underwood packing.
Bachelor in Paradise would see Underwood get closure on both fronts, as Kufrin visited to rehash their demise and as he and Booth began and subsequently tearfully ended a Paradise relationship.
View this post on Instagram
Thank you for teaching me even more about myself, and most importantly, for your friendship that I know will continue far beyond Paradise. Don’t settle for anything less than the world, because that’s what you deserve. Can’t wait to see what the future has in store for you and catch up on life some day, preferably over a hot dog dinner.
Perhaps the third time will truly turn out to be the charm for this Bachelor?
We’ll all have to tune in come Jan. 7, 2019, when season 23 of The Bachelor premieres on ABC to find out the fate of Underwood’s heart. And, you know, his virginity.