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Drew Barrymore’s Dating Life Is Very Complicated

Dating when you’re famous is never easy. The trappings of celebrity weigh heavy when you’re trying to have a carefree date and hoping the person you’re with doesn’t know every single thing about you. But when you’ve been famous since you were a kid and have, quite literally, grown up with the world watching you, you dream of just doing normal stuff like, say, going on a blind date.

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This was exactly the kind of thing Drew Barrymore has been dreaming about for forever, as she revealed when she appeared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show on Friday. “Here’s the deal: Ever since I was a teenager and excited about the idea of dating someone, I always had fantasized about a blind date — which I had never and will never be able to have — on my side, at least,” Barrymore explained.

Which is why, when the golden age of dating apps arrived just in time for her to re-enter the dating pool after her divorce from her third husband, Will Kopelman, she felt like she’d been liberated. Her time had come! “When the whole dating apps started, I remember eHarmony said, ‘Answer 25 questions and we will place you.’ I was like, ‘What are the 25 questions? And who would they place me with?'” she told host Ellen DeGeneres.

“I heard Amy Schumer saying she met her boyfriend on there,” Barrymore explained. “Then one night, I’m flying home by myself and I’m like, ‘Screw it! I’m going to fulfill my fantasy and go on a dating app! Do a blind date, but not really.’ So, I went on it and no one responded.”

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Excuse me? Nobody responded? What the heck, people? This is Drew Barrymore of E.T., Charlie’s Angels and Ever After fame we’re talking about. Why wouldn’t you want to respond to her if you stumbled across her profile on a dating app and — bonus — she messaged you?

But maybe the toughest and most awkward thing about dating while Barrymore is the fact that, well, you might actually get found out by your most recent ex-husband. That’s what happened when Kopelman called her out on her dating app habits recently. “He goes, ‘Why are you on Raya?’ I was like, ‘How do you know? I was on it for four days! Five days! How do you know I’m on Raya?’ He goes, ‘Because I just saw your profile. It came up on my phone.’ I go, ‘When?!’ And he goes, ‘Like two days ago.’ I was like, ‘Motherfucker!’ I’m still on it! I’m still trying to get off of the site!”

More: Divorce? What Divorce? Drew Barrymore’s Life Is Pure Adventure

Listen, world, I’m gonna need you to goes easy on Barrymore. Just let her date in peace (I’m looking at you, Kopelman) and maybe just be nice and reply to her message if she happens to message you, OK? OK.

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