These Are Seth Meyers' Sickest Burns From His Golden Globes Monologue

Jan 7, 2018 at 10:05 p.m. ET
Image: Paul Drinkwater/NBC

With the year Hollywood — and the country in general — has had, it was a safe assumption that Seth Meyers wouldn't hold back as host of the 75th annual Golden Globes on Sunday evening. And, true to form, the funnyman really sunk his teeth into the award show's opening monologue.

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As the first award show host out of the gate this season, Meyers had his work cut out for him. How do you build jokes around the sexual misconduct and political turmoil that have hijacked headlines without being too insensitive? It's a fine line to walk and, well, Meyers practically danced on it. But dressed in black to show solidarity with victims of sexual harassment and assault, Meyers struck the perfect balance of funny and sharp during his opening monologue.

Here are his 11 best zingers to prove it.

1. "It’s 2018. Marijuana is finally allowed, and sexual harassment finally isn’t. It’s gonna be a good year!"

2. "This was the year of big little lies and 'get out'... and also the television series Big Little Lies and the movie Get Out."

3. "There’s a new era under way, and I can tell because it’s been years since a white man was this nervous in Hollywood."

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4. "For the male nominees in the room tonight, this is the first time in three months it won’t be terrifying to hear your name read out loud."

5. [pointing to Seth Rogen] "Hey, remember when he was the guy making trouble with North Korea? Simpler times."

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6. "We’re all here tonight courtesy of the Hollywood Foreign Press — yeah, give it up for the Hollywood Foreign Press — a string of three words that could not have been better designed to infuriate our president: Hollywood Foreign Press. The only name that would make him angrier would be the Hillary Mexico Salad Association."

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7. "Well, I think it’s time to address the elephant not in the room. Harvey Weinstein isn’t here tonight because, well, I’ve heard rumors that he’s crazy and difficult to work with. But don’t worry, he’ll be back in 20 years, when he becomes the first person ever booed during 'In Memoriam.'"

8. "Well, despite everything that happened this year, the show goes on. Like, for example, I was happy to hear they were going to do another season of House of Cards. Is Christopher Plummer available for that too? I hope he can do a Southern accent, ‘cause Kevin Spacey sure couldn’t. Oh, is that too mean? To Kevin Spacey?"

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9. "Daniel Kaluuya is nominated for Best Actor for his work in Get Out. Daniel plays a young man lured to an event full of aging white people desperate to reclaim their youth — AND OH MY GOD, DANIEL, IT’S A TRAP! Get out!"

10. "The Golden Globes turns 75 this year…" [hands mic to Jessica Chastain] "but the actress that plays its wife is still only 32."

11. "If you haven’t seen it, The Deuce is a show about Times Square in the early '70s, when New York was so seedy, there were two James Francos."

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These amazing jokes just prove that Meyers was an excellent choice for host and, better yet, that when it came to call out all of the BS happening in Hollywood, Meyers was the right man for the job.

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