Last weekend, on a rainy November afternoon, some friends suggested going to see a movie. We looked up what was playing in a nearby theater, and they were pretty set on Thor: Ragnarok — that is, until they saw how hard I rolled my eyes. Then their enthusiasm turned to shock at how I could be so uninterested in a movie people have been running out to see.
I’m just gonna say it: I don’t care one bit about superhero movies. I think they’re super-boring. There’s nothing compelling to me about the Marvel or DC Comics or whatever-you-wanna-call-them universes. I’ve tried to care because so many people I know and love care. But I just can’t get myself there.
Sorry, not sorry.
So there’s a new trailer out for Avengers: Infinity War, and predictably, people are here for it. Vanity Fair published this very geeked out article that honestly reads like gibberish to me. I read it three times and I’m more confused than I was when I started. I get it. If you’re into this stuff, that article, with all its specifically nerdy references, is gonna be a hype machine for this new trailer. I can’t read to the bottom of the page without my eyes glazing over.
And the Avengers franchise is one of the worst of all the superhero franchises. There are just so freaking many of them. Real talk, fam: How do y’all keep track of that many characters? Even director Joe Russo admits that it’s a little out of hand.
“You can’t really look back and go, ‘Hey, remember the last time that somebody took 12 franchises and blended them together and told the movie with 60 lead characters?'” he told Vanity Fair. “So that’s the challenge, and you have to create your own structure for a story like that.”
Sixty lead characters? I have a headache just thinking about trying to sit through this movie and make any sense of it.
To each her own, right? Please, don’t @ me.