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Jennifer Garner Has Found a New Calling in Life

There’s definitely a stereotype out there that newly and/or perpetually single women have to be cat ladies. Leave it to Jennifer Garner to rewrite the script on being a single lady thanks to her choice of a new animal in her life.

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Garner may have ended her marriage to Ben Affleck (cue the sound of all of our hearts breaking simultaneously again) earlier this year, but she didn’t commemorate this new phase in her life by getting a furry new friend. Instead, she went for the feathered variety. That’s right. Newly single Garner is now a self-proclaimed “chicken lady.”

Oh, and she walks her chicken on a leash. Nope. Not kidding. She Instagrammed it.

Alongside the photo of her walking her chicken, which was wearing a harness with a matching leash, in what appears to be a suburban neighborhood, Garner unabashedly introduced her new friend to her followers.

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“Meet one of our ladies, Regina George,” she wrote, revealing that she named her chicken after the queen of the Plastics in Mean Girls, because what else, honestly? “Regina loves long walks, dehydrated bugs, and kale. Regina hates….carbs.”

She also wrote, “If there isn’t a Chicken Lady Day, there really should be. Man, my life gets more exciting all the time.”

Yes. Yes it does.

If this is what single Garner looks like, though, we’re kind of here for it. And getting a breakup chicken is probably more practical than collecting cats or giving yourself bangs or any of the stereotypical things we’re supposed to do after breakups. At least Garner gets fresh eggs out of this deal.

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BRB — buying my own breakup chicken.

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