The moment comes from his documentary, Chris Brown: Welcome to My Life, and it’s just too little, too late, you know. A lot of his explanation sounds very self-apologetic, and he’s placing a whole lot of blame on Rihanna for the physical altercations that led up to his 2009 arrest for assaulting her in a car outside the Grammys.
In the video, Brown explains that Rihanna found out he lied to her about being a virgin at the start of their relationship.
“My trust totally was lost with her. She hated me after that,” he said. “I tried everything. She didn’t care. She just didn’t trust me after that. From there, it just went downhill because there were too many verbal fights, physical fights as well. Mutual sides. It is the first time I get to say anything. We would fight each other. She would hit me, I would hit her and it never was OK.”
Even though Brown admits he “felt like a fucking monster” at the time, that still sounds a lot like he’s trying to justify hitting Rihanna because she would hit him too, and sorry, that’s not how it works. Either one of them could have walked away before things escalated to that night at the Grammys, when he hit her hard enough in the face to split her lip.
“I remember she tried to kick me, but then I really hit her, with a closed fist, I punched her,” he remembered. “I busted her lip. When I saw it, I was in shock. I was like, ‘Fuck. why the hell did I hit her?’ From there, she just spit in my face, spit blood in my face and it enraged me even more.”
Brown and Rihanna have since become friendly and even recorded music together. But that incident is going to follow Brown for the rest of his life, regardless of how he tries to justify it now.