If you’ve seen Big Little Lies, then you know Nicole Kidman’s storyline as Celeste steals the show. Her performance as a woman living through an abusive relationship is brilliant and deep, which didn’t come without its own set of real-life struggles for Kidman.
In a new interview, she told W magazine, “I felt very exposed and vulnerable and deeply humiliated at times. I mean, I remember lying on the floor in the bathroom at the very end when we were doing the scenes in Episode 7, and I was lying on the floor and I just wouldn’t get up in between takes. I was just lying there, sort of broken and crying.”
Those feelings even translated to Kidman’s home life.
“When I would go home, I would feel ashamed, and that’s the same emotions and the same feelings that Celeste was having, so we were very much parallel in the feelings, but I was willing to do that for the role because that’s what I felt was important for the role,” Kidman explained. “I’m here to tell the story and be true to the art, not to bring my own problems in terms of what I feel comfortable with, not comfortable with. I’ve got to work that stuff out so that I can come as a pure vessel to the work.”
No one can argue that her efforts weren’t a success, but just in case you had any shred of doubt, Kidman also spoke about the feedback she’s received from the role.
“I’m glad that [the show] created the conversation, I’m glad that it sort of pulled the veil off. I’ve received the most amazing e-mails from people saying I now understand why women stay or why people stay with an abuser, and if that changes one person’s life, that’s amazing for me.”