If You Want to Sleep With Nick Viall, Here’s Your Chance

Now that Nick Viall is off Dancing With the Stars, we knew it was only a matter of time before he found a new way into our living rooms.

More: The Bachelor‘s Nick Viall & Vanessa Grimaldi Continue to Defy the Odds

And OMG, Bachelor Nation, did he find it. Only this time, after two stints on The Bachelorette and one on Bachelor in Paradise, he’s not returning to TV. No, People magazine has discovered that Viall’s next gig is a partnership with the meditation and mindfulness app Calm, and you’re gonna have to hear it yourself to believe it, trust.

Yes, that eerily low and slow voice belongs to Viall, who is here to read you a bedtime story. But first, he’s going to awkwardly introduce himself and tell you how you should be settling in to listen to his calming (allegedly) rendition of “Sleeping Beauty.”

More: Nick Viall & Vanessa Grimaldi Might Actually Love Each Other

“Good evening,” he says. “I’m Nick Viall, and some of you may know me from The Bachelor. I’m really excited to read you a sleep story tonight that will help you unwind, relax and drift off into dreamland.”

He continues, “This story is a classic tale of love between a prince and a princess,” he continues. “It’s called Sleeping Beauty. Make sure you’re feeling comfortable, cozy down under the covers and take a few deep breaths. If you’re ready, I shall begin.”

And we shall not sleep, because this is too weird and too extra and it woke us right up.

And in case you thought this whole thing couldn’t get more beyond, here’s what Calm’s co-founder had to say about hiring Viall for a sleep story: “Nick has a very calming voice, so we thought his millions of fans would love to imagine him perched on the edge of their bed reading them to sleep every evening.”

More: Corinne Low-Key Calls Out Nick and Vanessa’s ‘Phony’ Relationship

If there’s anything more likely to keep us up at night than the mental image of Viall sitting on the edge of our beds, we’d love to hear it.