I’ll never understand why some people have the desire to become famous.
Sure, I enjoy observing famous people (obviously, I guess) and trying to make sense of their bizarre, otherworldly lives, but only from a distance. Its appeal stems from precisely the fact that it’s not me.
Ask me if I’d want to be famous myself and I’d answer without hesitation: Nope. No. No way. No thank you. It seems like a terrible bargain to me: the loss of anonymity, the pressure, the absence of privacy, the strange world of negotiating relationships with other famous people, the security detail, the paparazzi, the people willing to sell you out at every turn. And what do you get in return? People the world over know your name, and you have a nice fat bank account.
What I’m saying is, it doesn’t seem like a great trade to me. And the celeb gaffe I’ll talk about next only serves to prove my point. So, without further ado, I present to you…
Reason No. 6973 I’m Glad I’m Not Famous: A total stranger has never busted me in an Instagram lie
First of all, don’t pretend like you don’t know what an Instagram lie is. We’ve all been there: cropping out the mess, filtering out the wrinkles, posting the one picture where you and your partner look blissfully in love when you know damn well you fought all vacation.
We all do it. But unlike Bow Wow, complete strangers aren’t there to call us on our bullshit.
You see, this is what Mr. Wow (Mr. Bow Wow? It’s unclear) posted on the ‘gram recently:
Sweet ride! The only problem is that this is what somebody else posted right after:
Bow Wow on IG vs Bow Wow in real life 😂 pic.twitter.com/5fZsv3zApg
— Legends (@LegendsofCH) May 9, 2017
Don’t worry, it gets better. Further research by Twitter user “El StiNky nuTs” (goddamn, I love my job) unearthed this:
— GARBAGE MAN (@StiNky_nuTs_) May 10, 2017
Confused? Let me break it down for you:
- L’il Bow Wow has dropped the ‘L’il’ part and just goes by Bow Wow now.
- Bow Wow is still a thing, apparently.
- He’s even still doing shows!
- He posted a picture of a private plane that, when paired with the caption “Travel day,” seemed to suggest that he was going to board the plane pictured.
- When, in fact, he flew commercial.
- (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)
- Buuut the picture he posted wasn’t even taken by him.
- It was ripped off from a Fort Lauderdale VIP car service website.
This whole thing is just super-awkward.
And, because for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, Bow Wow was asked about this little… misunderstanding… in a radio interview. But, instead of owning up to the social media subterfuge, laughing at himself and moving on, which is literally the only way to possibly come out looking good in this situation, Bow Wow did what most people do when caught in a lie: he doubled down.
In an interview with Hot 97 Atlanta, he claimed that the whole thing was intentional and threw in a plug for his new TV show, too, saying, “I love it because people don’t understand the scientific method to my madness. I’m about to have to the biggest show on WE tv, period. It’s a scientific method to my madness. You gotta just watch the show. Everything’s for the show.”
I just… I mean this would never happen to me, you know? No one’s going to see my Instagram post of freshly painted toenails and then bust through my door like Aha! You only shaved the part of your legs that would show in this photo!
Our Instagram lies are safe from that. You see? We have it better. Trust me on this one.