Anybody else out there have strained eyeball muscles from rolling them so hard every time another unicorn-themed frappuccino shows up on your Instagram feed (734,123,259,043,827 times a day)? Seriously, these things are a hazard.
They may look pretty, all pink with electric blue swirls, but the flavor is an assault on all taste buds. The pink is mango creme flavor (filled with artificial coloring) and the blue is sour syrup. It sounds absolutely terrible, but here’s the kicker: There’s not even any coffee in the thing. Why? Why? There’s only one thing redeeming about the unicorn Frappuccino: all the Instagram likes.
If you need any more proof, ask Katy Perry. Yes, the queen of whimsy herself couldn’t handle drinking that disgusting concoction. In a video posted to Snapchat, she gave it a try. Wearing a long, blond wig, she stared straight into the camera while she took a big sip of the drink… and then leaned over and spit it out. In the caption, she wrote, “I couldn’t handle drinking my own blood.”
Perry’s opinion of the drink seems to pretty much match what the internet has to say about it: It’s really pretty, but it’s also packed with sugar and it doesn’t taste good at all. She’s not the only celeb to speak out about it, either; since the drink is so massively popular, late-night hosts have been trying it out this week. Stephen Colbert claimed Starbucks called it a unicorn frap because “sugary affront to God” was already taken. Jimmy Kimmel joked that the drink is “only available through April 23, or until someone dies from drinking it. Whichever comes first.”
I’ll stick to my skinny lattes, thanks.