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Jason Momoa Just Isn’t Our Beloved Man-Beast Without His Man Bun

I have strong feelings about many subjects.

For example, I feel strongly that the President of the United States should know which goddamn country he decided to bomb and also, if it’s not too much to ask, have the decency to not giddily mention twice how delicious the chocolate cake he was eating tasted while he did it.

I also feel strongly that police officers shouldn’t act like hired goons for airlines and that a person’s “troubled past” has absolutely zero bearing on the fact that his treatment at the hands of said airline was horrific and inexcusable.

And, finally, I feel strongly that Jason Momoa looks better with long hair. Like, no contest, hands down, just better. As my 4-year-old daughter would say, infinity better.

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Others seem to have differing (read: wrong) opinions. And they’ve produced photos to justify these (misguided) opinions.

Before we get to those, here’s a photo of long-haired Momoa for reference:

I mean…unfff.

I’ve said it before, but I will say it again: I am not typically a fan of long hair on a man. Fabio was never my jam. I like my men neatly coiffed; maybe some stubble or a well-trimmed beard. I don’t go for the bad-boy biker types. I’m too risk-averse for that.

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But this, above? Goddamn. Momoa even looks good with a man bun and, guys, let’s just admit that no one looks good in a man bun.

So, imagine my surprise when I woke up this morning to an article claiming that Momoa was hotter with short hair. What? What?!

Jason Momoa short hair
Image: Slaven Vlasic/Getty Images

I mean, yeah, he’s still a handsome dude, I guess. But he also just looks kind of…basic? Like, I see this guy everywhere. I see this haircut everywhere.

And then there’s this oldie, where a young Momoa tried on a boy band/Pauly D hairstyle:

Jason Momoa short hair
Image: James Devaney/WireImage


Nope, nope, nope. No. Hard pass. This is not the glorious man-beast I find myself thinking about way too often. And part of it is that he’s missing his trademark eyebrow scar, sure, but most of it is the hair, right?

Without the mane of hair and the beard, Momoa has been turned into a guy who chants “Chug! Chug! Chug!” at his bros while they guzzle cheap pints of beer. This is a guy who wears tank tops to the beach and spends his whole workout eye-fucking himself in the mirror.

More: Can We Stop Freaking Out Over This Picture of Jason Momoa’s Daughter?

Then there’s this, where he looks like Mr. Solis from Desperate Housewives:

Jason Momoa short hair
Image: Kevin Winter/Getty Images

And again, I’m not saying he’s not a good-looking guy! But this guy works at a bank. Or possibly a car dealership. He’s nice enough, but you know that he isn’t going to be the one to throw down in the bedroom.

This man, however?

I rest my case.

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