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A Labyrinth Spinoff Without the Goblin King Is Just Blasphemy

Buckle up, kids, because the train to Nostalgia Town is ready to roll, thanks to the breaking news that Labyrinth is getting the spinoff treatment. Before you get too excited, you should know there will be some big (like, really big) changes and an active focus on creating a new story rather than retreading the original.

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So, what’s the biggest change? There will probably be no Goblin King. You read that right. No Goblin King! We’re not sure if this is out of respect for David Bowie’s version of the character or because director Fede Alvarez is dedicated to creating a new storyline, but we’re guessing it’s probably a combination of both. Bowie has become so well known for his role as the Goblin King in Labyrinth over the last 30-plus years, it’d be pretty difficult for anyone to fill his shoes.

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But still, this is blasphemy! What would a Labyrinth spinoff without the Goblin King even look like? How will Alvarez incorporate that simmering sexual potency that Bowie brought to Labyrinth if there’s no Goblin King to play with magical glass orbs and stare seductively into the cameras? Who is going to sing “Magic Dance” or “As the World Falls Down,” for crying out loud? So many questions, you guys. This is troubling stuff.

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This Labyrinth news is exciting enough that you should stay tuned to see how things develop. If Alvarez chooses to stick to his horror roots, as he did with Don’t Breathe, then there’s a chance that he’ll be teasing out the more sinister aspects of the Labyrinth world as opposed to the cartoonish qualities that came packaged with Henson’s version. For now, just turn up “Magic Dance” to 11 and dance around your room like nobody’s watching.

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