There is no room for man-spreading in this subway car: a new crop of criminal masterminds is here, and the future of heists is female. Warner Bros. Pictures has released the first official image from Ocean’s Eight, due out in June 2018, and we couldn’t be more excited about the all-lady cast, even if as pictured, they seem serious as hell.
What do we know so far? This reboot follows the Ocean’s trilogy? — ?which was a bit of a sausage party with George Clooney, Matt Damon and Brad Pitt? — ?as well as the original 1960’s Ocean’s 11, which was also basically just a bunch of dudes. Although filming has taken place around New York City since October, we don’t know much about the plot, except that Sandra Bullock will play the lead as the sister of Clooney’s Danny Ocean character and that the girls are planning to pull off something big at the Met Gala. We’re guessing that’s going to involve some amazing costumes, some organized stealing and the amazing chase scenes we’ve come to expect from the franchise. Let’s hope everyone sports flats for a quick getaway.
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There are also some male love interests in the film, but to be honest, we aren’t super-interested in discussing them when we have this subway car of awesomeness to analyze.
Here’s our public transportation roll call.
Sandra Bullock (Debbie Ocean):
Bullock is looking very much like the leading lady with a stylish down-the-middle hair part and a faux-fur coat that we’ll assume was a real steal. What’s in the leopard-print bag? We’re guessing the master plan for the heist or maybe her Oscar and Golden Globe. We’d carry them everywhere too, Sandra.
Cate Blanchett (Lou):
Blanchett is sitting next to Bullock rocking a black and white coat. She doesn’t have a bag for her awards because she has way, way too many of them to travel with. We admit she looks almost mad? — ?maybe she’s taking this heist extremely seriously, as she should, or maybe she’s upset the cast decided to #DeleteUber and take the train.
Sarah Paulson (Tammy):
Paulson also has her game face on — we don’t think even the most well-meaning unwoke male commuter would have the gall to suggest that she smile more. Is she also traveling with a piece of rolling luggage? We’re going to guess that it’s packed with the perfect picnic lunch for her love Holland Taylor — maybe some meats and cheeses, a baguette, strawberries and two carefully wrapped Champagne glasses — all set to shatter our #RelationshipGoals. Either that or it’s filled with stolen art.
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Anne Hathaway (Daphne Kulger):
Hathaway looks like she doesn’t want to be recognized in her dark sunglasses and green trench coat, either because she just stole something priceless or because she tires of the constant adulation of fans. Is she someone who stands in empty subway cars because of germs or because she’s silently working on her quads?
Rihanna (Nine Ball):
Rihanna is sitting on the train just like we imagine someone named Nine Ball would. No fancy fur coat or Oscars needed ?— ?Rihanna is ready to roll with her eight Grammys and a pair of jeans with the perfect ripped knee.
Mindy Kaling (Amita):
Kaling looks eye-popping in a red coat and dress, and in this case, no one is hanging out without her. Mindy has a new project, and we’re guessing it’s heist-related.
Helena Bonham Carter (Rose):
Bonham Carter is dressed in all black and obviously totally ready to break some laws and not get caught. If we were making a list of eight women needed to pull off the perfect crime, yep, Carter would be on the top of our list.
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Nora Lum/Awkwafina (Constance)
Lum might not have a bag of awards or a Wikipedia page that scrolls just yet, but she is a rising star who also knows that if you sit in the very back of the subway car, it is easier to escape if you are being pursued by the police (or if a terrible street performer starts performing). A rapper, comedian and TV personality, we won’t be surprised if Lum doesn’t stay so far in the background for long.
Before you go, check out our slideshow below.
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