If you thought 2017 was off to a slow start, here’s some news that should help buck up your year. According to a newly released synopsis by AMC, war is imminent on The Walking Dead. And, damn, it’s about time.
Granted, Negan and his Saviors have only really been on the scene for just shy of one season, but the fact that he’s such a royal jackhole who killed our favorite character at the start of this season (someone somewhere pour one out for Glenn) has basically made the series as of late feel as though it’s operating in dog years — it’s only been one season, but it feels like seven.
More: The Walking Dead‘s new Season 7 teaser photos are weird AF
So excuse me for a minute while I praise Jesus for bringing us to this point: the precipice of “All Out War.”
Let’s get to the gritty details then, shall we? It’s worth mentioning the fact that AMC also released three new photos along with the mysteriously generous synopsis for the second half of Season 7, but truth be told, there’s nothing terribly special about the actual photos. Womp-womp.
Instead, let’s dissect the surprisingly lengthy synopsis and speculate about what the hell is about to go down for Rick and friends.
1. Shit’s about to get real
The synopsis starts, “The first half of Season 7 saw Rick (Andrew Lincoln) and the group broken by Negan (Jeffrey Dean Morgan), forced to fall under his will and brutally convinced to live under his rules. The second half of the season will focus on preparing for war and gathering the supplies and numbers to take Negan down once and for all.”
More: [SPOILER] died on The Walking Dead mid-season finale, and war is on the way
This is pretty straightforward and seems like a pretty clear sign that we could soon see one of the comic series’ most iconic issues, “All Out War,” come to life on screen. Of course, some of the players are different because in the comics Andrea is still alive and shacking up with Rick at this point (B-b-but, what about Michonne?!) and Daryl doesn’t even exist. For shame.
2. We may meet new characters… again
The synopsis hints, “Rick’s group will find out yet again that the world isn’t what they thought it was. It’s much bigger than anything they’ve seen so far.” And you know what “bigger world” sounds like code for, right? More people. I’m all for spicing things up with a new character from time to time, but for feck’s sake I’m still referring to newbies this season as “that guy who wears the fake armor” and “the all-lady commune leader.”
3. More King Ezekiel, yay!
Listen, one measly episode devoted to King Ezekiel simply wasn’t enough. I’ll take watching a CGI tiger all day long if it means I get to hear Ezekiel wax poetic about how life can still be noble and kind in the zombocalypse more often. It looks like I could be getting my wish, since the synopsis states, “While they have a singular purpose — to defeat Negan — it won’t come easy. More importantly, victory will require more than Alexandria. They need the numbers of the Kingdom and the Hilltop, but, similar to how Rick felt, Ezekiel (Khary Payton) and Gregory (Xander Berkeley) do not want bloodshed. To convince them otherwise will take more than speeches.” The longer it takes to convince Ezekiel, the more we’ll see him around and I am here for it.
4. We’re gonna see Rick and the gang kick it old school
Remember back in the OG days of The Walking Dead when the gang was still so scrappy and new? They would do things like fish bloated walkers out of drinking wells and other sorts of desperate yet inexplicably entertaining shenanigans. Is it just me, or does this line from the synopsis make you think we’re going to see some of that old-school resourcefulness again? “The lengths Rick and the group will have to go to in order to find weapons, food and new fighters is nothing short of remarkable.”
5. We’re in for at least a few legitimate surprises
According to the synopsis, “We’ll see Rick and the group tested in ways we’ve never seen before.” I mean, you think you’ve seen it all when you’ve watched the characters wear gut parkas and suffered through a guy’s eyeball popping out of his head after being hit by a baseball bat. I fear to speculate over what new challenges the group may face.
6. There’s a traitor in the ranks
“We’ll see treachery from people we trust,” the synopsis ominously teases. Well, shit. If I could go ahead and put my special request in now, could it not be Jesus? I was just really starting to like the guy. Other than that, everyone is fair game. Er, other than Michonne, Daryl, Sasha, Carol, Maggie, Morgan, Carl, Eugene, Rosita…. OK, fine — no one is allowed to make this prophecy come true. My tender heart can’t take betrayal so soon after losing Glenn and Abe.
More: TWD scenes between Negan & Carl echo the comics, but will it stay that way?
7. Rick will rise like a phoenix from the ashes
So foretelleth the synopsis: “Rick is confident as he will see his group and many others band together with the common goal of taking down Negan. But no amount of planning will prepare the group for all-out war with Negan and his army.” All hail the return of savage Rick! And if I’m really being honest, I’m also pretty stoked to see how far the extent of Negan’s sociopathic behavior will stretch during wartime.
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