Yes, we know she’s technically a duchess, but for all intents and purposes, the former Kate Middleton is a princess through and through. That doesn’t mean she’s free as a bird to do whatever her heart desires, though. Life as a royal is actually rather restricting. Here are some things Kate can’t do if she wants to stay in the good graces of the public — and her in-laws.
1. Pop in for a blowout
Yes, Kate does have her own personal hair stylist at her beck and call. But sometimes, you just want a quick pop-in at the blowout bar for a speedy style and some lashes while you’re out and about. Unfortunately, when you are one of the most photographed women in the world, you can’t trust your tresses to just anybody.
2. Shop alone
The joy of shopping alone is no more once you’re royalty. Even if you manage to get out into an actual store like Kate often does, a protection officer is present at all times. Time to start underwear shopping online!
3. Get drunk in public
Not that it’s something anyone should do on a regular basis, but sometimes a girl just wants to let loose at happy hour, you know? When you always have to be “on” for the cameras — even when you’re not at an official event because paparazzi are everywhere — overindulging in one too many glasses of wine just won’t do.
4. Express an opinion
Kate can say her favorite color is white, but that’s about the extent of the personal preferences she can discuss in public. Political matters — and even some non-political ones — shouldn’t be spoken about because the British royals are not supposed to be seen as influencing such issues. If Kate hates eggs, she certainly can’t say so for fear of offending both her breakfast host and the entire egg industry.
5. Eat garlic or most shellfish
At official engagements, at least. The queen has decreed garlic verboten in order to spare the embarrassment of bad breath, and Kate is now sure to follow the same rule. A glittering tiara only does so much to distract one from stank-mouth or from food poisoning caused by bad shellfish.
6. Sunbathe topless
Unfortunately, Kate learned this lesson the hard way. Thinking she was safely ensconced far from prying eyes on vacation in the French countryside, she doffed her bikini top — and promptly found her bare breasts on the cover of a magazine. The royals sued, but the damage was done. She’ll probably be keeping it under wraps from now on.
Don’t blame Kate for Brexit. The royals are not allowed to vote — no influencing politics, remember? The royals also can’t seem to be at odds with the presiding powers in Parliament.
8. Name her kids Apple or Kal-El
Kate has already shown her propensity for classic names — George and Charlotte are très traditionnel — but even if she got a wild hair up her royal backside, she would never name any future children something too unique. Royals in direct line to the throne are usually given royal family names, so don’t hold your breath for a real-life Princess Buttercup.
9. Have a Facebook account
It’s crazy to think someone in their 30s doesn’t have their own social media accounts, but Kate can’t… for security reasons. Prince Harry used to have a secret Facebook account under the name of Spike Wells, but it was deleted shortly after nude photos of him partying in Vegas emerged. Kensington Palace currently maintains an official Twitter and Instagram account for the official engagements of Kate and Princes Harry and William.
10. Play Monopoly
If Kate has a knack for real estate, she’ll have to keep it to herself. Apparently, a certain board game causes too much strife amongst the royals, and in order to keep the peace, it has been banned. “We’re not allowed to play Monopoly at home,” Prince Andrew revealed in 2008. “It gets too vicious.”
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