There are just so many things about Azealia Banks' apology letter that we love
In the sake of honesty, we have to say that Azealia Banks' apology letter to Zayn Malik made us laugh. Is anyone really buying this?
Wait. Before you read it, you must know, Azealia didn't send this letter to Malik via email or snail mail. She didn't even post it on social media. She gave it to Us Weekly for them to print, presumably hoping that it'd get picked up by other outlets (which it has) and that Malik would see it. Anyone else smell a PR stunt?
Come on, some of the letter is pretty funny. Aside from handing it over to Us Weekly first — most likely for publicity — Banks may also be trying to counteract the backlash she's received from her feud with Russell Crowe.
Here's some background on the Banks vs. Malik and Banks vs. Crowe feuds:
Back in May, Banks tweeted at Malik to congratulate him on leaving One Direction. Later, Malik sent out a couple of vaguely shady tweets, and Banks thought they were directed at her (he later tweeted again claiming they weren't).
Banks launched into a nasty tirade against Malik, writing, "Dude, I make better music than you. Simmer down with that fake white boy rebellion and that wannabe beiber swag. Lol u a bitch n**** for even responding like that. Keep sucking this yung rapunxel dick u hairy curry scented bitch."
Then, more recently, Banks posted to social media about getting into a fight with Crowe at a party at his apartment. She claimed he choked her and called her the N-word, but witnesses at the party told police it was Banks who started the fight by threatening other guests with her wineglass.
While this apology letter kind of misses the mark, there are some tidbits that we love... in a we're-very-confused way:
"LETTER TO ZAYN"
We have no idea whether Us Weekly wrote "LETTER TO ZAYN" at the top of the page, but we assume the image above shows the original letter they received from Banks. If so, we just get a kick out of the way the letter starts. Hey, it could start a real new formatting trend.
Malik's "formidable principles"
That's just such an awkward way to use the word "formidable." It kind of screams, "I used a thesaurus to find a bigger word!" Hey, we've all been there at some point in our lives...
Banks' revelation about life — thanks to the Twitter feud
This may actually be our favorite part. Banks thanked Malik for teaching her that not everything on Twitter is directed at her, saying "it is a lesson that I desperately needed to learn." Who knew that 1) Malik was such a great life coach and 2) Twitter feuds could produce fruitful lessons? I guess we learned something from all this drama, too!
Banks' sign-off, "Yours faithfully"
No "from," no "sincerely" — Banks signed the letter with "Yours faithfully." What does that mean? She's going to faithfully remain a Malik fan for the rest of her life? She has faith Malik will forgive her? We just don't get it. It could be that damn thesaurus again.
Alas, we do believe Banks has love in her heart — everyone's got a good side. Plus, whether this is a PR stunt or not, it takes humility to publicly apologize. Let's give her some props for that. People deserve second chances, so here's to hoping that Banks has learned from the backlash and that her letter translates from words into change.