Madonna is offering blow jobs in exchange for Clinton votes.
More: We’re all getting Madonna’s Donald Trump piñata for the next presidential debate
You read that right — if you support the Democrats and putting a woman in the White House, there could be oral sex in it for you.
“If you vote for Hillary Clinton, I will give you a blow job, OK?” she told the crowd at Madison Square Garden, where she was introducing Amy Schumer for a comedy set.
Of course, it’s entirely possible Madge was joking when she made the offer. Except, um, it really didn’t sound like she was joking because she kept going and got into some pretty specific details.
“I swear to God — and I’m good. I’m good,” she said. “I’m not a douche and I’m not a tool, I take my time, I have a lot of eye contact, and I do swallow.”
More: Lady Gaga’s Little Monsters are furious with Mariah Carey & Madonna
Welp. Didn’t know I would spend my Thursday reading and writing specifics about Madonna’s BJ technique, but here we are.
Schumer didn’t go quite as far as Madonna during her show, but she did “apologize” after some Donald Trump fans walked out of her show.
“I’m sorry you didn’t want me, a comedian who talks about what she believes in, to mention the biggest thing going on in our country right now,” Schumer said. “How could I think it was OK to spend five minutes having a peaceful conversation with someone with different views? After the show, I want you to know that I will go straight to a rehab facility that will teach me how to make all people happy.”
More: Just how intimate are these bedroom tapes with Madonna going to be?
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