We asked, and the Bachelor gods have delivered.
More: Andi Dorfman probably wishes Nick Viall would just shut up about having sex
We’ve all sat through boring Bachelor season after boring Bachelor season after boring Bachelor season, waiting for someone who could rival Kaitlyn Bristowe, the reigning queen of Bachelor franchise drama, and give us something to once again cheers our chardonnay to on Monday nights.
Finally we have it.
We knew Nick Viall was going to be a special Bachelor. He’s already super-controversial — he was the villain on not one but two seasons, and then he hilariously came in second place both times. After a similarly unsuccessful stint on Bachelor in Paradise, he’s back as the leading man, meaning no one can curve him at the last minute this time.
More: If Luke Pell is actually the next Bachelor, I’m giving up on the franchise
And after he brought buckets of drama to Bristowe’s season by entering midway through — and pissing off all the other guys in the process — and then having very pre-Fantasy Suite sex with Bristowe — and pissing off all the other guys to pretty much murdery levels — he’s back at it with his ladies, reports say.
According to a New York Magazine article, Viall will be confronted on Night 1 by a woman he hooked up with once at a wedding and then never called again. I’m already cackling at that news, but it gets better: Apparently Viall was super-pissed that the girl showed up, because she took away someone else’s chance to actually find love. Because, you know, she should have known that going out and having sex with him was a deal breaker.
If this is how Nick’s going to act, I do feel sorry for the ladies competing for his heart, because that was a dick move, for sure. But I do feel great for myself, my Bachelor-watching squad and the entire wine industry, because this is going to be a season for the books. Finally.
More: Turns out Nick Viall wasn’t actually supposed to be the next Bachelor
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