Tonight’s episode of The Bachelorette ended on maybe the biggest cliffhanger in the series’ history, so I’m coping with some fun and, hopefully, laugh-worthy predictions about what’s to come.
WARNING: Some Reality Steve spoilers below and potential bad awesome jokes about the remaining episodes of The Bachelorette Season 12.
1. Luke Pell will be eliminated
I mean, the dude created a heart out of flowers. Was JoJo really confused about Luke’s feelings for her? No. She just felt bad that he felt the need to say “I love you” right before she broke his heart. She wasn’t feeling conflicted. She was feeling guilty. Anywho, Reality Steve is reporting that Luke will be the one to bite the dust.
2. JoJo will just keep pacing
JoJo will spend so much time pacing around that airport that she’ll hatch her 10k egg in Pokémon Go. #TeamValor. That’s right, I went there.
3. There will be some technical errors
Right after JoJo eliminates Luke, the three remaining guys will all hop on the private jet with JoJo only to realize that the plane doesn’t work. Whoops. Which means JoJo and the other guys will have to stand next to Luke awkwardly while he waits for the limo to take him to the airport.
4. Chase will be next to go
I, personally, can’t believe JoJo will eliminate Luke over Chase after hometowns, and there’s no way I’m the only one. Chase was definitely the slow burn and I wouldn’t be surprised if JoJo chose not to sleep with him during the overnights because she’s just not there.
5. JoJo won’t sleep with all three guys
See No. 2. But it also seems to be a trend lately on the seasons that the Bachelor/ette chooses to eliminate one person rather than have sex with them on overnight dates and then break their heart. I think it’s a respectable decision and JoJo seems like a respectable gal. Of course, that isn’t to say that if she is feeling it with all three she shouldn’t go for it. Get it, girl.
6. JoJo will cry a lot. A lot, a lot.
That girl is going to be a finale waterfall. If tonight’s private jet pace is any indication, she’s going to ugly cry all over the next few episodes.
7. Jordan Rodgers is going to admit he’s a Vikings fan
The guy is clearly not so close to his brother and there are definitely deep feelings there. I wouldn’t put it past him to have turned a little just to spite Aaron Rodgers.
8. Robbie’s going to swim away
Robbie will be so upset when he gets eliminated in the finale that he’s going to forgo the boat altogether and just swim away from the island. He’s a former pro, after all.
9. The Men Tell All episode will be so hilarious, I mean, dramatic
Evan, Alex and Chad all in a room together? Bring it on. I. Can’t. Wait. It’s gonna be so great it is sure to inspire GIFs for years to come.
10. Jordan Rodgers will win. Obviously.
But will he propose? Oh, yeah. There’s no way JoJo’s walking away without a ring. Jordan is going to wife her up.
11. Aaron Rodgers will show up
Right after Jordan proposes to JoJo, Aaron Rodgers and Olivia Munn will show up, and Aaron and Jordan will have a bromantic reconciliation. Hey, it could happen.
What are your predictions for the remainder of The Bachelorette Season 12?
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