If you didn’t happen to see the newest episode of Real Housewives of New York, what you missed can be described in one simple phrase: a whole lot of yelling. The women spent an entire night drinking and yelling, as always. The woman who had the most eye-roll-inducing argument of the night was, by far, LuAnn de Lesseps. She spent the entire night trying to prove that she wasn’t sleeping around with a bunch of guys.
De Lesseps, if you’re not aware, is a grown woman. She is old enough and responsible enough to make decisions about her sex life. She could sleep with a new person every hour if she wanted to, or no one for the rest of her life. Either way is totally acceptable for a grown-up. I think most people accept this as the truth. That’s why I was so confused watching her lie about who she sleeps with.
First of all, no one believed her. The number of people she’s slept with may or may not be exaggerated by the other women on the show, but either way, no one is buying that she’s this chaste woman who isn’t out around town enjoying herself. And second of all, the much better argument with Bethenny Frankel would be, “It’s none of your business.”
Because it really isn’t. And Frankel admitted that she didn’t care either way what de Lesseps did in her bedroom. She was frustrated with the fact that de Lesseps wouldn’t own up to it, but then criticized other people for the very behaviors she had done. A totally valid frustration, if you ask me.
It’s an issue that goes beyond de Lesseps and affects all women. The more women who act like being chaste is better than sleeping with multiple partners, the more other people can treat us differently for choosing to be on one side of the spectrum or the other. If we could all own our behaviors, and explain that it is no one else’s business but our own, no one could use it against us. Words like “slut” and “goody two-shoes” would all lose their power. And we could all focus our energy on more important topics.
OK, maybe I went a little far there. But my original thought still stands: LuAnn de Lesseps is a grown woman and should just own the fact that she’s having sex because she’s not fooling anyone.
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