Teenage Newlyweds are terrifyingly clueless about sex

Jun 1, 2016 at 8:25 a.m. ET
Image: FYI

Last night, FYI premiered their new show Teenage Newlyweds. I went into the show reminding myself to keep an open mind, that some people just know that they’re in love and want to start the rest of their lives right away. I was expecting to feel judgmental, but was training myself not to be that way. What I was not prepared for was to judge these teenagers’ parents so hard.

Specifically one couple, George and Halie, were so completely unprepared for their wedding night that it was scary. Hearing them talk about sex was like hearing a second grader explain calculus. They understood that it was a thing, they may have heard the word a couple times, but they had no practical idea of what it was or how to do it.

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George, 21, mentioned that the only real sex talk he ever had was a ten-minute conversation with one of his friends. His friend, by the way, was also a virgin. And the only reason he knew about sex was because he and his fiancée had read a book about it. It was at this point that I had to get up and take a break from the show.

How is it that these kids know absolutely nothing about sex and they’re about to get married? Not only have their parents let them down tremendously, but so too has the school system. Kids need the sex talk. The depth and timing of the talk is absolutely up to the parents, but that doesn’t mean they can avoid it all together. Kids will grow up and they will have sex. By denying them an education about it, we’re increasing the chance of unplanned parenthood, STDs and emotional trauma. How is that a risk these parents are willing to take?

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After revealing that he knows very little about sex, he also admitted that he and Halie don’t really talk about the subject because it’s awkward.

Again, I ask, how are these parents letting their kids get married when they are this clueless?

It wasn’t that they are young — plenty of young people get married and make it work. Plenty of people get married in their twenties and get divorced. The main issue this show revealed was how unprepared these kids are. Not only are they going to have to struggle to figure it out on their own but they’re also going to have a terribly disappointing wedding night.

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The couples all seemed to have good intentions, but not a lot of guidance. As long as they seek advice from people more willing to have honest conversations, they have as good of a chance as anyone else to have a long, successful marriage.

In the meantime, their cluelessness should make for an entertaining show.

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