OK, it’s time for a good ol’ fashioned Game of Thrones rant for you tonight because I’m still trying to wrap my head around everything that happened during this episode while also trying to quell my desire to punch something.
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Don’t get me wrong, this episode was brilliant just like every episode of the show — and maybe the most emotional episode of the season thus far — but some of the character’s decisions just made absolutely no sense and have me ready to rage, while other choices hang in the brittle balance and still more are too tragic to contain.
First of all, let’s talk about Arya getting ready to slaughter some “decent” woman, as she called her. I refuse to believe Arya is going to kill an innocent. I get that Game of Thrones life isn’t fair, but if Arya starts killing decent people because the Faceless Men tell her to, Imma be furious. Remember when Jaqen H’ghar was so cool. Now he’s just kind of a jerk, and I really want Arya to ditch him. She told him she made a decision about her path. I just hope it’s not the one that makes her a heartless assassin because Arya is meant for way bigger things than that.
On to Bran now and the three-eyed raven. I can’t, for the life of me, figure out why the heck the three-eyed raven wouldn’t warn Bran about the White Walkers, like, first? It’s an easy conversation, “Hello, welcome to the weirwood tree. I’m going to teach you some cool things. Please don’t touch the White Walkers or let them touch you. Forget the past, let’s talk about the present for a second, young padawan.” Amiright?! (Oh and yes, that was absolutely a Star Wars reference for your reading pleasure.)
Why did that conversation not happen?
I’ll tell you why. Because it segued us perfectly into Hodor’s backstory reveal as he was being slaughtered by White Walkers and I sobbed in front of my television. Damn you, Game of Thrones, damn you! And while I curse the show for making my eyes leak, I also appreciate how absolutely beautifully the show tied everything together with Hodor, whose life purpose was to “Hold the door,” so Bran and Meera could escape the White Walkers.
My next frustration during tonight’s episode is just kind of a side note. If someone doesn’t kill Theon’s uncle — like, preferably Daenerys when he dares to propose marriage — I’m going to throw something.
Finally, let’s talk about Daenerys, who gallantly proclaimed that Ser Jorah must find a cure for his greyscale so he can come back and stand by her side when she invades the seven kingdoms. While that’s super-touching and all, since he’s been working for six seasons to gain her favor, how the heck long is it going to take for him to find a cure? And by that I mean, when is Daenerys goes to invade Westeros already? Girl needs to get a move on. What could she possibly be waiting for? She’s got an Unsullied army, she’s got a Dothraki army, she’s got three giant dragons — let’s make this invasion happen already.
My only hope is that all of these crazy story lines will work themselves out in the end. Of course, working themselves out could mean the show is just planning on slaughtering everyone and calling it a day. It is Game of Thrones, after all.
But I have a theory of my own. I think now that Bran is on the move, and Arya very well could be on the move by the next episode, the Stark family is well on its way to reuniting. Following the Battle of the Bastards, which I’m convinced is coming at the end of this season, it will be the perfect time for Daenerys to enter into Westeros and team up with Jon to overthrow the Lannisters. Sounds too easy? Yup, I know, it probably is. But a girl can dream.
Do you think the Starks will reunite in Season 6?
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