On Wednesday night I watched Dorinda Medley do something a lot of us women do at some stage in our lives: pick our boyfriend over our friends.
During Episode 2 of The Real Housewives of New York last week, we saw Ramona Singer and Bethenny Frankel compare notes over their extreme dislike for Dorinda’s boyfriend, John Mahdessian, and his sleazy, car salesman-like ways. They agreed that Dorinda feels the need to “sell him” to them and the rest of the girls, but not before Ramona revealed a rumor to Bethenny: John goes around telling people that he likes to pop loads of Viagra and do Dorinda for hours and hours. Ramona being Ramona thought it was a great idea to unload this to an already heated Dorinda in the middle of a lingerie party Dorinda herself was hosting, on camera.
This sets the stage for Episode 3. Apparently what happens at the lingerie party doesn’t stay at the lingerie party, because as Ramona, Dorinda and Bethenny were having a heated exchange about John and his antics, his friend who was also in attendance at the party — and only identified as the mole or the rat — was secretly texting John the deets of the conversation in real time. Just as the ladies were starting to calm down, John aggressively walks in to defend his honor and put Bethenny in her place in the process. Did I mention John was aggressive? It was as if Dorinda was familiar with the look in his eye because she immediately tried to get John to leave. He accused Bethenny of ripping off the Skinnygirl name from his friend who owned Skinny Cow and told her she couldn’t hold down a relationship and was, therefore, jealous of theirs.
Bethenny’s response, among many other gems, was to tell John, “You’re a cow. I’m a girl.”
If John’s mission was to come in as Dorinda’s knight in shining armor, then boy did it backfire on him because Dorinda did not feel defended. She called him an embarrassment, kicked him out multiple times, told him it was over and sobbed. The next time we saw John and Dorinda though, they were indeed still very much together and formed a united front against any of the Housewives who may not accept John for who he is. “You’re not nice to John, you’re not my friend” was her outlook on it, she said.
Dorinda and Ramona’s relationship on the other hand wasn’t so easily repaired. They did talk about it, but Dorinda made it a point to say she would never look at Ramona the same way again.
Now wait a minute. Wasn’t Dorinda angry with John and Ramona for the very same reason? Why does John get to play by a different set of rules than Ramona? Why are women so quick to forgive their boyfriend’s mistakes but not their friends?
Ordinarily I could see how the Housewives would feel loyalty to their husbands over fellow castmates, but in this case, Ramona and Dorinda have been friends for 20 years and John has only been her boyfriend for two or three. And while I do agree with Dorinda, Ramona should have talked to her about it all off-camera like a real friend, rather than use it as an opportunity for a story line. So either forgive both or forgive neither.
Here is some food for thought: If all the ladies — and even her daughter — seem to have the same opinions about John, then maybe it’s time she stops being so defensive on his behalf and opens her eyes to the signs that are right in front of her.