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Tracy Morgan confesses to suicidal thoughts during recovery

A near-death experience doesn’t quite begin to describe what Tracy Morgan has been through in the past few years. Yet less than two years after an 18-wheeler plowed into his limo in June 2014, killing his mentor Jimmy Mack and hurting three others, Morgan tells Rolling Stone that he feels funnier than ever. As Morgan heads out on his first stand-up tour after the accident, he’s honest about the trauma he faced.

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When Morgan was in the throes of recovery, he says his thoughts turned to suicide. “I said, ‘If my funny ever went away, I’d die.’ And I thought I was going to die for a long time. My thoughts — I was in a very dark place. I was sitting right here, contemplating suicide. I couldn’t walk.”

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“The two biggest accidents in the world was yours and Princess Diana,” [sic] Morgan recalls a doctor telling him. He was in a coma for eight days, blind for six and broke every bone in his face. But he swears a visit to the afterlife during his coma is what kept him alive.

“[My dad] was the one who said, ‘Go home, son. I ain’t ready for you yet,'” says Morgan. “I don’t think I cheated death. I think this was the plan. My room wasn’t ready.”

In addition to his tour, which he may turn into a special (currently named Stayin’ Alive), Morgan’s family is helping him get through the psychological implications of the accident. “I look forward to my wife getting pregnant again,” he says. “I look forward to my daughter going to nursery school. I’m here. I get to see all of that.”

More: Tracy Morgan claims God had a message for him after his car crash

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