We left things in a precarious place last week between Tiffany and her off-shore boyfriend Bubba, as she was last seen doing body shots off of Murray’s buddy Chi Chi.
The good news? She and Chi Chi did not, in fact, bang as Hannah predicted. The bad news? Bubba hasn’t seen the bar footage of Tiff and Chi Chi yet, and I can’t imagine that’s gonna go over well. These two aren’t exactly on the best of terms lately as is.
Mattie is also feeling unlucky in love, as she tries her darndest to score some vitamin D at the bar. Tragically, her only solid prospect wound up wanting to make a porn flick with her and presumably the giggly blonde seated at his side.
The ride home is a total bummer, because poor Mattie is pretty down on herself. However, in a moment that is everything, Walt and Lyle repeatedly assure her she is amazing and deserves the best. Kudos, dudes. Ku-dos.
Back at the house, Boudreaux invokes the spirit of ol’ Wild Lyle in order to make Mattie laugh. Mission accomplished! By the end of the night, Mattie feels better knowing she “got my best friend back.”
Then, Lyle goes inside to call Santana. Say it ain’t so! Aren’t we done with that girl’s drama yet? Why, yes, apparently we are — Lyle straight up ends it with Santana, despite her many objections. While I realize this couldn’t be easy for him, is it wrong I was just happy it potentially paved the way for a Mattie and Lyle reunion?
The next morning brings more change as Chi Chi heads home. What hasn’t changed, though, is the volatile nature of Tiffany and Bubba’s relationship at the moment. When they finally catch up on the phone, she tries to explain that her anger last week over her ex wasn’t about her ex at all. It was about the fact her friend Lindsay had broken the girl code.
“You are out of your f***in’ mind, Tiffany.” *dialtone* I’m pretty sure Tiff threw out an “Oh, hell no” in that moment and, well, when a Southern woman says that, it means you’re up the creek for sure. But is this kind of bickering the norm for these two or is this vacay tearing them apart?
“Have you met Tiffany? I’m kidding, but more so than last season, these two were definitely working things out. Relationships are hard as it is and trying to be in one in this house will always put some strain on a relationship,” Sally Ann Salsano, 495 Productions president and founder and creator/executive producer of Party Down South, told SheKnows in an exclusive interview. “They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but in this case, it was starting to just confuse them.”
Mattie somehow manages to find herself in the position of house secretary, first relaying a heated series of messages between Tiffany and Bubba. Then, when Santana calls, Mattie agrees to tell Lyle that she called and that she said she loved him.
True to her word, Mattie relays the message — but Lyle doesn’t care. Impressively, despite Santana’s repeated calls, Lyle doesn’t cave in those crucial first days after their breakup. “The phone just rang and rang for what felt like hours,” revealed Salsano. “Eventually he does answer the phone, and I think the fans will really, really enjoy that moment.”
So Lyle is officially single. And, Mattie hopes, ready to mingle? More on that in a minute.
Soon, the house decides to head out for some fun in the sun doing relay races on Segways. Of course, they have to spice it up a bit, PDS-style. Accordingly, the winning team gets to have the losing team as their personal maids for an entire day.
The guys agree, predictably overconfident. Unfortunately for them, their confidence was misplaced. It’s all downhill for them after Daddy flips off his Segway in the very first lap. Walt also crashes, giving the girls ample opportunity to seal their victory.
And, yes, the guys were as awful as they looked onscreen.
“We said that day that watching them do this was probably similar to everyone’s prom night,” said Salsano, laughing, “Awkward, weird, bizarre and unnatural. They certainly tried hard, though.”
Tiff picks Daddy, Hott Dogg picks Walt, Lauren picks Murray and — oh, yeah, y’all — Mattie picks Lyle. The ladies then proceed to milk the guys for all their worth which, in Daddy’s case, is about 20 bucks.
The guys are so desperate to distract the ladies that they pay for a spa date and suggest the gang heads out to the bar for the night. Saddlebags it is!
Once at Saddlebags, the entire crew wastes no time gettin’ it goin. Particularly Lyle, who enlists a bunch of bachelorettes to join in his striptease onstage, and Murray… who is quite literally gettin’ it goin’ with a pretty blonde at the bar.
When they decide to leave, Murray’s new lady friend tags along and, quicker than you could slap a tick, Daddy and Walt are walking in on the duo in Murray’s bed. There was some definite pretzel action happening, although I couldn’t tell you who was the pretzeler and who was the pretzelee.
Just don’t expect it to stick with this marlin. “Are you suggesting Murray wifes up? Because I don’t think Murray wants anyone to stick. He’s got some more fun to be had before he settles down,” Salsano responded with a hint of incredulity when asked if this midnight rendezvous might go further.
Meanwhile, Mattie seizes the moment — and her last remaining moments of indentured servitude — to get Lyle into her bed. Hannah, who is totally watching, has the same look on her face as I do: one of expectant anticipation.
Are Mattie and Lyle about to happen… again? Pray to the PDS party gods, people.
“That’s funny, because we thought the same thing,” agreed Salsano. “Every season our producers would ask about it in interview, but obviously nothing came of it. This time we had our fingers crossed that it might come full circle, but my lips are sealed.”