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Why Quantico‘s soapy hijinks have finally gone too far

Is it us, or is Quantico starting to feel a little like an episode of Saved by the Bell, except with guns, bombs, and more sex?

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Quantico started out with a pretty simple and exciting premise: a bomb goes off in Grand Central Station and the only suspect is a new FBI agent with fabulous hair, (Priyanka Chopra), who goes on the run to try and find out who the real bomber is. But the show shifted gears at the mid-season return, and now — even with a terrorist stalking Agent Parrish — it’s hard to stay focused with so many weird romantic twists and subplots happening.

Warning: spoilers ahead

First, let’s talk about this whole Liam/Agent Parrish thing…

We knew that something happened between the two when, after the New Year’s Eve party, they wound up consoling one another in Liam’s car — but we held out hope that they didn’t sleep together because, ew! Not only is Liam her father’s ex-partner and a teacher at the academy, but it’s like Parrish completely forgot that Liam tasked Agent Booth with spying on her from before she even made it to Quantico, and then tried to get her thrown out!
Then, in tonight’s episode, Parrish promised Liam not to tell anyone they slept together, but uses that promise to squeeze information out of him that she immediately gossips to Will — one of the new NATs. Will (of course) immediately uses that information to publicly blame Liam for the death of his fiancée, getting himself kicked out of the program. Is anyone else’s head spinning? I mean, how high-school can you get?

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In fact, there’s so much “so-and-so sleeping with you-know-who” that Liam and Parrish’s hookup shouldn’t be shocking, but the fact that Parrish and Liam actually slept together just kind of drove home how over-the-top and soap-opera-esque the show has become.

Then there’s Simon whose guilt over having been the one who pushed the button on the second bombing has driven him to isolate himself in Vermont, where he contemplates killing himself daily. Why Simon isn’t actually in jail as the person who drew up the bombing plans in the first place is beyond us, but when he threatens to shoot Alex only to get a warm welcome from her later that night, I just had to roll my eyes.

The fact is, the show’s writers are trying not to close any doors on who the terrorist might be and, at the same time, they’re weaving too many confusing tracks. Simon could totally still be in on the bombing (or be its mastermind), Vasquez could still be alive and responsible for the bombing (we didn’t actually see her die), and Liam is the worst FBI teacher/mentor ever but never seems to get called out on his bad behavior.

MoreQuantico: [SPOILER]’s death could mean the end of Parrish’s run with the FBI

And don’t even get us started on Caleb, who is apparently playing Shelby for her money in order to buy his way into some crazy cult, and now we’ve got a whole host of new NATs to sidetrack us from the show’s big question: Who is the real terrorist?

The answer may elude us for the show’s duration, meaning that we’re in for a lot more trainee hijinks, hookups, and head-scratching plot points. The question is, will audiences hang in there with all of the show’s crazy, or will they start tuning out?

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