Our poor Boudreaux! Everyone’s favorite duck-calling Party Down South castmate has been having a rough go of it this season, but he might actually have hit rock bottom tonight.
Last week, we left Lyle in the middle of what appeared to be a heart attack. Chest pain, cold sweats, hallucinations — this is serious stuff, y’all. Luckily for our boy, he’s surrounded by people who love him in the house, and they’re bound and determined to get him the help he needs.
After he rides off in the ambulance, everyone is understandably upset. But on top of their concern for Lyle, the ladies of the house are pissed. The subject of their seething? None other than Lyle’s on-again, off-again fiancée, Santana. Or, as Mattie calls her, “Satan-tana.”
So when Santana calls the house looking for Lyle and Daddy answers, y’all know Tiffany was having none of that. She
tells warns Santana not to call again, and hangs up the cheeseburger phone (I’m always impressed by their ability to be angry when they’re talking into a cheeseburger).
Only, we all know by now that Santana doesn’t play by the rules, right?
A few minutes later, the phone starts ringing. And this time, it isn’t Tiffany who starts to rage out — it’s Mattie. Uh oh, is Hurricane Martha finally going to touch down? It seems to be in the forecast as she answers the phone.
In another example of Mattie’s incredible growth, though, she reins it in. Instead of going full Martha, she delivers a strongly worded warning to the “little girl” on the other end of the line, ending it with, “And baby, you don’t want to go there with me, ’cause I won’t pull your hair. I’ll hurt you.”
Could this be the new, more mature version of Hurricane Martha?
“It’s for sure a step in the right direction,” Sally Ann Salsano, 495 Productions president and founder and creator/executive producer of Party Down South. “Mattie has grown a lot. She’s been watching herself all these episodes for a couple of years now, and that’s always been the hardest part for her. She’s for sure tired of hurting her friends and family, and seems to be getting her emotions under much more control this season now that she recognizes her triggers.”
God love that girl.
Of course, Santana is still calling when Lyle — who was just severely dehydrated — comes back home, and he picks up. Santana immediately launches into some spiel about what some guy named Wyatt is probably going to tell Lyle but for him not to believe it.
According to Salsano, Wyatt is “someone from back home that always seems to be in the know with all the gossip back home. It’s always secondhand information he’s sharing with Tiffany and Lauren, so who knows if it’s accurate or not.”
I mean, damn. Does the drama never end with this girl?
The next morning, everyone seems to have cooled off a bit. For her part, Mattie realizes they need to back off of Lyle and give him some space to process things on his own.
When the phone rings again, it miraculously isn’t Santana. Rather, it’s Tiffany’s boyfriend, Bubba. No sooner had he and Lyle started talking than the phone cut out. Bubba, as Tiffany explains, works offshore, and connections are spotty. More on that in a minute.
In other news, the girls are still dealing with the horrific stench caused by the Terror Triplets’ stink bomb concoction. Hannah, in one of her many moments of brilliance and clarity, insists that if they cook something in the room, it will get rid of the bad smell.
Oh, honey. No. Just no.
But for tonight’s main event, let me introduce you to Lartha. That’s right — cute little Lauren decided to get it goin’, and she wound up going full Martha on everyone’s asses.
“Lartha! I love it. So true. I feel like over the seasons, Lauren has finally found herself and just let loose. She was the youngest when we began, and I believe she has found her voice. I love how she doesn’t hold back and bottle things in anymore,” says Salsano.
After presumably several hours of tossing ’em back, Lauren gets inexplicably angry at Walt. So much so that she starts to smash shit: watermelon, containers of cream cheese. Not even Tiff can calm down this new Lauren, destroyer of groceries.
She winds up calling her mom (at 3 a.m., mind you) to prattle on for a bit about how she was going to get her federal marshal family member to issue a restraining order against Walt. It. Was. Brilliant.
She does eventually make it to bed and, as far as we know, there’s no bounty on Walt’s head yet. Explains Salsano, “I don’t think she remembers specifics, but she for sure remembers popping off, and wasn’t too remorseful the next day.”
Things are looking up the following morning, because Tiffany manages to talk to Bubba on the phone and invite him to come to the house on Friday. When he says he is going to miss teal huntin’ season for her, by God, it seems like they’re headed for a pretty darn romantic weekend.
Around the same time, Murray’s friend Chi Chi shows up, and he wastes no time getting things going — including a prank involving bringing a yard pig into the house, which Tiff rescues wearing nothing but a towel.
All seems well and good until Tiff’s friend Kristen calls (good heavens, someone disconnect the damn cheeseburger already) to tell her that her cousin’s ex-girlfriend had slept with Tiffany’s ex, Hunter.
Tiff is not happy, by any stretch of the imagination. She calls Kristen and rails her out, during which time Kristen threatens to call Bubba. And, whaddya know, a few minutes later the phone rings, and Bubba wants to speak to Tiff.
Ruh roh, Shaggy. So, we had to know from an insider’s perspective: Did it seem like Tiff had lingering feelings for Hunter, or was she just pissed that Lindsay broke girl code?
“Maybe a combination of both,” says Salsano. “It’s hard to say. She was definitely pissed about girl code being broken. I’m with her — that’s a big no. As far as Hunter, we all have that person we sometimes wonder ‘What if?’ and ‘If only’ about, but only Tiffany knows the answer to that one.”
When Bubba hangs up on Tiff and she assumes he will not be coming out on Friday, she decides to get a
littlelot lit and have a good time at the bar. Only, the person she seems to be having the good time with is none other than Murray’s pal, Chi Chi.
As Hannah puts it, “It looks like they’re gonna be bangin’, for sure.”
If Salsano’s behind-the-scenes intel about Chi Chi’s time in the house is any indication, Hannah may not be far off. “It was intense,” she said, right off the bat.
“He is a wild child that was hard to keep in check during his visit,” she continued. “He is friends with Murray and every one of the cast, but sometimes they didn’t even know what to think. And if the cast of Party Down South looks at someone and doesn’t know what to think, know your hands are going to be full.”
Next week? Body shots! I’m calling it now — this won’t end well.