Ben Higgins had his most controversial elimination of The Bachelor Season 20 so far at the end of hometown dates tonight. But that isn’t any reason to hate on him.
Still, Higgins’ decision to send mom of two Amanda Stanton home without a rose ignited the Twittersphere with cries of foul. Not only because fans thought Stanton and Higgins were a great match, but mainly because Stanton introduced Higgins to her two young daughters and then he sent her packing.
I hate Ben Higgins after he sent home Amanda honestly
— jess (@jessswallaccce) February 23, 2016
BEN HIGGINS THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I AM MAD AT YOU, YOU CANT JUST MEET HER KIDS AND THEN KICK HER TO THE CURB
— Connor Hadley (@connorhadley) February 23, 2016
Ben Higgins…. I do not like you right now.
— 🌻 (@kaycie_h) February 23, 2016
Ben just made the stupidest mistake #teamamanda
— al (@alipaigericee) February 23, 2016
Keep in mind, too, that these were just the tweets I felt comfortable sharing on this website. Some of them were much more colorful.
And, sure, reality TV personalities get hated on all the time. I don’t think anyone who watches reality TV comes out of it without some judgment. But Higgins’ decision to let Stanton go because he realized he wasn’t ready to be a dad is not a decision that should be frowned on. It should be applauded. He put his feelings aside and made a mature decision about the direction of his life after the show.
Stanton has two really young girls. And that’s a lot for anyone to handle. Just as Stanton shouldn’t be shamed for being a single mom, Higgins shouldn’t be shamed for deciding he’s not ready. He was only 26 when the show filmed, after all. For some people, becoming a parent young makes sense and more power to them! But a person’s decision to wait doesn’t make them wrong or bad.
The other argument is that Higgins should have let Stanton go before meeting her girls if it wasn’t a forever love. But he probably had no idea until he met her kids what he was really getting himself into. Sure, he spent some time at the Boys and Girls Club, but that doesn’t mean he really understands fatherhood. And, as someone who is currently binge-watching Parenthood, let me tell you, I don’t think any of us ever understand parenting even when we’re knee-deep in it. It’s overwhelming, messy, brutal, exhausting and, yes, probably the most rewarding thing in life a human being can do, but it’s a very personal decision that is unique to each and every person.
And Higgins made that decision in a confident and realistic manner that, honestly, only makes him seem like more of a catch to me.