Kim Fields is opening up about a truth that a lot of us mothers know too well: She doesn’t have many girlfriends.
Speaking with fellow Real Housewives cast member Phaedra Parks in a preview of Sunday’s episode, Fields admitted that she decided to join the cast of the reality TV show in part because she was hoping to find some new gal-pals.
This revelation startled Parks, who quizzically responded, “Now how in the world can you live without girlfriends? Who do you tell your secrets to?”
Fields confessed, “For me, I don’t have, you know, the hangout girlfriends.” Fields told the always fresh-faced Parks she doesn’t go get her nails done or have spa days. Shocked and dismayed, Parks responded, “Oh, my God. Why? Are you kidding me?”
Diving into the deep end of the murky waters of motherhood, Fields continued, “I don’t have a Kim happy place for Kim. Other than my work, my kids, my husband.”
As sad as it sounds, Fields is certainly not alone. Many women, present company included, struggle with changing from being the person you were born and raised as after becoming a wife, losing the name you were given, and then becoming the even more self-stealing “Mommy.” Not to say that is a bad thing. Being a wife and mother are two of life’s greatest accomplishments, but it can sometimes be a struggle for women, as Fields explains, to find themselves and find time for themselves in the midst of life.
Parks asked a very poignant question, “But what about you being happy?”
Fields, who has two young sons with husband Christopher Morgan, asked Parks how she found her happy place.
“I didn’t marry young. I knew who I was. I knew what I liked to do. I didn’t want to lose myself in my marriage and my kids. So, I get my nails done every week. I get my hair done every week. You gotta get that time.”
Being your own independent person is important in terms of self-identity. If you only see yourself as a mom or a wife, it will be difficult for you to carve out your own happiness. That doesn’t necessarily mean just spa days or getting your nails done; it can be a hobby you stopped doing when you had your child or something new you’ve wanted to learn or reconnecting with friends you’ve lost touch with since you got married.
But like Parks says, “You gotta get that time.