This is the most dramatic season of The Bachelorette ever.
No, seriously, like ever.
I feel like I need to go in a dark room by myself for a while after each episode to regroup before reentering the world. And I’m not even the one dating all of these men.
So I already sympathize in a big way with Season 11 Bachelorette Kaitlyn Bristowe. But I didn’t expect her to reveal that she actually feared one of her suitors in her new blog post on People.
The lady handing out the roses explained, “I was scared of Shawn.”
But it’s not what you think.
“I was worried he wouldn’t be able to get through the hardest part of the journey and he would leave. I NEED a strong man, not physically (although it doesn’t hurt) but emotionally. I was questioning my decisions and having a tough time understanding my actions and my feelings.
“I don’t think you ever go into this experience thinking you’re going to feel feelings this deep,” Kaitlyn continued. “You want to, and you hope it happens, but you don’t necessarily think it will. So how can you prepare yourself? I believe that’s what Shawn’s struggles were. He didn’t expect to feel all the things he was feeling. It’s so hard to care about someone and try and let your brain access those feelings in an average relationship. Now imagine adding in that you are trying to accept the person you care about has other relationships happening. It was only human for him to be upset.”
Shawn definitely took center stage during last night’s episode when he and Kaitlyn had a few very long conversations about where their relationship was at. They eventually decided to take a step back since Kaitlyn had overdone it with her attempts at reassurance, basically telling Shawn that she had already decided he was her future husband.
“I challenge anyone to date this many guys and not make mistakes,” Kaitlyn wrote. “This was one I made, and it only set him up to get more upset when it came to my other relationships. This is why I understood where Shawn was coming from when being upset.”
There are so many heavy emotions flying this season, it’s no wonder she was feeling the need to run away when Shawn came knocking. Luckily for her (and for him), if Kaitlyn’s recent Snapchat is any indication, she definitely conquered her Shawn fear.
Check out her full blog post over on People‘s website.