I think one of my defining character traits is my voice.
It’s very distinctive and people usually either love it and think it’s “cute” or despise it and feel the need to constantly remind me how annoying it is. My voice is something that I joke about all the time, but I think deep down it really is an insecurity of mine and honestly, just something I wish wasn’t such an easy target for people to pick on.
I’m all about trying to be the best version of yourself, so I decided to seek out a vocal coach to teach me how to control it so it doesn’t get so high-pitched. The whole thing was surprisingly emotional for me. I almost cried, and I did not expect that at all. Having to open up about a huge insecurity and focus on a fault of mine stirred up a lot of emotions for me. As we know, I’m a perfectionist and strive to be as good at everything as I can. It pains me when I mess up; and as weird as it sounds, it feels like I mess up at speaking all the time. I’m very critical of myself, and especially being in a situation where I can watch and re-watch myself speaking in interviews and on TV, and reading everyone’s comments is something that I’ve become very sensitive to.
When CeCe asked me to sing, I was terrified. I’m here to fix my annoying voice and now you want me to sing? Is she crazy? And she thinks I have a beautiful tone, and I should try to pursue singing. I thought she was joking or just being nice. I’m not sure if I’m as convinced as she is. All and all, it was nice to go in to fix something I saw as a flaw and have someone actually discover something they thought was special about it.
Anyone who knows me knows that all I ever wanted since the 11th grade was a Mercedes G-Wagon (AMG, of course; I’ve always had my eye on the prize!). It has always been my absolute favorite car. Contrary to what many people think, I really do not just get whatever I want. On my 16th birthday, I was not presented with a shiny new car with a big red bow on it, as many would assume. I’m not going to pretend my parents don’t give me a lot. It’s based on what they want to give me and what they think I deserve, which I know is not a bad deal at all, but my car was not on that list for them.
My parents also never wanted me to have too much at once. They believe that it’s healthy and keeps you grounded if there are constantly things in your life you still want and are striving toward, and I totally agree. I always drove the nice cars (BMW, Mercedes, Porsche) we had at the house, which I know is nothing to complain about, but they were never my car. So when EJ made fun of my Porsche Cayenne (which I actually think is cute) by calling it a “mom car,” he actually was right: It was my mom’s car. She picked out the color, the interior, etc., and I just drove it. So what I’m trying to really say here is: I feel like that giddy little girl on my Super Sweet 16 right now, ha ha! On the show, you see that I got a black G63. It felt like the smart decision since we were buying it, but in my heart of hearts, I always dreamed of an icy silver G-Wagon — just gleaming around Beverly Hills. So almost immediately, I took it to Jack at Platinum Motorsport for him to transform into my dream car. I’m absolutely in love with it, and I guess it’s true what they say: Good things do come to those who wait.
Speaking of waiting, see you next week — in London!