Kim Richards' late fiancé's murderer swears he's reformed

May 19, 2015 at 12:09 p.m. ET

Kim Richards has had a brutally difficult past couple of months.

Add those recent legal troubles to the terrible, life-shattering tragedy that struck her 24 years ago when her fiancé, John Collett, was slain the day before their wedding day and you have more than enough to sympathize with the reality TV star's troubling life.

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It appears this camel is going to have to shoulder at least one more piece of straw. The man who brutally murdered Richards' fiancé, Marva DeCarlo Johnson, was being considered for parole. He was denied parole, but the transcript of his plea for his freedom has been released, and in it, he addresses both Collett's family and the RHOBH star, as well.

Radar Online has obtained the official court transcripts, which include all of Johnson's plea.

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Johnson said, "Thank you for the opportunity presented to me to express my most sincere remorse to Mr. Collett and his family, to speak about my past, present, and future. First of all, I want to apologize to Mr. Collett's family. And they're not present, so I'm hoping that you accept that.

"I highly regret every moment of this crime. I wish there was some way I could undo the pain, the trauma, the anguish that have come through my grave actions. I am deeply sorry. All of this time of my life incarcerated, I have looked back and realize the damage I caused by my bad decision. In the process, I have affected the following lives, Mr. Collett's family, his wife or fiancé, his children, his brothers, sisters, and parents, on the other hand, my family and my community.

"I accept full responsibility of my criminal behavior. For the past several years, I have dedicated my time [to] overturning the negative side of my past with positive achievements, and so far I have accomplished all my objectives. It is not been easy, especially by being in this situation. I know, well, I now understand nothing in life comes easy. It takes a big effort, sacrifice, and dedication, but most important, the contributions of a higher power, God. Because without God, I could do nothing.

"I dream of being reunited with my loved ones, but it's not something that I ever thought would happen. I killed a man, and God doesn't look at that in a favorable way. As for now, I don't desire to live — as of now, I don't desire to live any longer for myself. I don't desire valuable material things. All the desires is [sic] to have a closer relationship with God and my family.

"I am more than willing to serve my community and to share with the kids about the consequences of wrongdoing. I will be committed to support them educationally, recreationally, and become productive citizens in society, unlike myself… I leave my future in your hands and the Authority's [sic]."

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Do you think he deserves Kim Richards' forgiveness?