Grey’s Anatomy: 26 Thoughts we had during last night’s terrible episode

Seriously, guys: If you haven’t watched the latest episode of Grey’s Anatomy yet, stop reading. Turn away! Major spoilers ahead!

Holy heartbreaker, Batman. Derek “McDreamy” Shepherd is dead and we will never be the same.

More: 10 Grey’s Anatomy losses ranked by how much we miss them

Given how the previous episode of Grey’s left off, as well as the rumors that flew around this week, Derek’s demise wasn’t unexpected. In fact, we spent pretty much the whole hour just waiting for it to happen. We’re way too emotional to articulate all the thoughts that went through our heads during the episode, so instead, we’re going to let the following 26 GIFs do the talking.

1. When Mer starts talking about her mom and that carousel, and you already regret watching


Image: Magoosh

Meredith’s childhood was the worst. Nothing good ever comes from her talking about it.

2. Derek is on a ferry boat, one of his favorite things, but you try to tell yourself it doesn’t mean anything


Image: Tumblr

But if TV has taught us one thing, it’s that people die right after they appear to have reached the ultimate happiness.

3. Then Derek is on a conference call with everybody and they “lose” him


Image: Tumblr

Sure, it’s just phone reception, but our Spidey senses tell us it means something in the grand scheme of things.

More: Camilla Luddington weighs in on how Shonda Rhimes creates such fierce TV

4. Then you see the car crash, and you lose your shit


Image: Assets

‘Cause you just know Derek is dead.

5. But he’s alive!


Image: VMusic

And you realize that perhaps all this worry was unnecessary and all those reports of him dying were written by gullible suckers.

6. But then Derek starts telling us how to know if we’re dead


Image: Tumblr

And we’re back to being confused about whether he’s going to die or not.

6. But we have some clarity when Derek tells Winnie no one is going to die

Wonder Woman

Image: PandaWhale

Which means someone is going to die and it’s going to be Derek.

7. You pause to acknowledge that this mom car crash victim is hilarious, which was unexpected


Image: Tumblr

At least someone is bringing the LOLs.

8. Then you see that one of the girls’ insides are on the outside


Image: Uproxx

Ah, Derek, that’s more than a “little cut.” And you’re not a general surgeon.

9. But you’re more concerned about the fact Derek is talking about kissing Meredith


Image: Tumblr

Yeah, it’s over.

10. Then that semi comes out of nowhere


Image: Tumblr

This is why phones and cars don’t go together. In memory of Derek, we will never drive or use a phone again, let alone do both at the same time.

11. You’re buoyed by the fact Derek is alive, but have zero faith in the doctors responsible for keeping him alive


Image: MTV

Seriously, who are these hacks?

12. It doesn’t help that Derek knows things aren’t good, but you try to be upbeat



Perhaps he can coach them through his own surgery?

13. But he’s not dead, so it’s still possible he’s not going to die

Breaking Bad


That’s how science works, right?

14. These doctors don’t seem to know science, though


Image: SheChive

Take him to get the blessed head CT, people! Can’t you hear his internal monologue?

15. But then the lady doctor suggests a scan


Image: BreezyK

Yes, women are the best. The male doctors have no idea what they’re doing. Can’t Derek just operate on himself?

16. Then you find out the neurosurgeon is at dinner


Image: BuzzFeed

Food is important, yes. On any other day, food should obviously be a priority, but not today.

17. You wonder if it’s possible for Derek to operate on himself


Image: Assets

You also contemplate suing a fictional hospital.

18. But then Derek is alive!


Image: Tumblr

Now we love that neurosurgeon.

19. But then you realize Meredith is only imagining he’s alive


Image: Giphy

Back to hating that neurosurgeon.

20. You can’t even look at Meredith’s face


Image: Wikia

Oh, God. And then she asks what to do with her kids, who are now fatherless.

21. Meredith is in an elevator — her place with Derek


Image: Assets

And there it is. Derek is gone.

22. But Meredith is able to make time to give this woman a pep talk


Image: Tumblr

This is what Oprah would call a “teachable moment.”

23. Oh, crap, Meredith is crying and talking about her kids again

Captain America

Image: ReactionGIFs

This is physically painful to watch.

24. Then “Chasing Cars” starts and you can’t even


Image: Giphy

Not this song. Tears. All. The. Tears.

25. Oh, hell, and now with the flashbacks


Image: Tumblr

God, not the first time they met. We can’t handle this right now.

26. And finally Meredith pulls the plug on Derek


Image: PandaWhale

Effectively also pulling the plug on the chances of us enjoying our weekend. RIP, Derek. Your death won’t just haunt red-haired doctor lady. It’s going to haunt us, too.