Let’s face it: We were all a little too young to watch Pretty Woman the first time we saw it. Which is probably why, for better or worse, we quickly picked up some life lessons from her.
Prostitute. Hooker. High-priced call girl. Lady of the night. Escort. Whatever you want to call Pretty Woman‘s Vivian Ward, we all know what she did to pay the rent. That didn’t stop us from watching, never judging and taking everything she said and did to heart.
1) Rub their noses in their mistakes
OK. We admit that this probably isn’t the nicest lesson to learn. But we all dream of our moment when we can walk up to the people who doubted us, ignored us or bullied us, show off our new-found fame/money/bone structure and tell them what a huge mistake they made.
2. Know your audience
We’ve all let something slip from our lips that would be completely acceptable with our friends but not with our mamaws or overly religious aunts. Even if our moms never taught us any tact, Vivian Ward’s opinion of the opera certainly did.
3. Don’t believe the hype
People are cruel. That was never more obvious than in Pretty Woman and knowing people could ever be mean to the oh-so-gorgeous Vivian Ward. Just because they say it, doesn’t mean it’s true, though.
4. No kissing. It’s too personal
We bet a good majority of you have never listened to Viv’s sage advice on intimacy, but we implore you to give it a try. Kissing may seem like the first step to decent hookup, but never forget that schoolyard song: as soon as you sit in a tree and start kissing, you fall in love. Try hooking up without that oh-so-intimate kiss and you could find yourself with a lot fewer broken hearts.
5. Never sell yourself short
One of the first lessons we learned in Pretty Woman was to always price yourself high. When Vivian says it’ll be $300 for her to stay the night and he tells her he’d have paid more, she knew she’d messed up. Know your value. Never settle for less just for the sake of getting something.
6. How to put on mascara
Damn, girl. Those are some serious lashes.
7. Be yourself
Even if yourself happens to like Prince. The right man will think your sickening falsetto is absolutely adorable.
8. Your true love will go to great lengths to win your heart
Forget fancy clothes, huge bathtubs and polo matches. You’ll know it’s real love when he climbs your fire escape to share his feelings.
Basically, Vivian Ward taught us everything we need to know… except how to work a pair of thigh-high boots. Thanks for all the wisdom, Pretty Woman.