I binge-watched Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt this weekend, and not even on purpose. I actually had things to do. I had to do them so badly that I put them on a list with little empty check boxes next to them.
But really, what’s more important: filing my taxes or being able to quote Kimmy Schmidt? Before you answer, ask yourself which one you’d rather be reading about right now. (If you answered taxes, off with you!)
I put it on Saturday morning and was like, “Just one episode, Jenni.” And then I was like, “OK, one more episode, Jenni.’ And then I was like, “OMG, I’m already on the eighth episode and there are only 13 in total, might as well keep going.” Maybe this is the 30 Rock fan who lives inside of me (and sneaks out after midnight to eat my cheese), but it really is that good. I’m already counting down the moments until the second season. I think we’re at about 363 days. So that gives me approximately a full year to memorize all my favorite lines and repeat them in conversation like they’re my original jokes.
The only thing catchier than Kimmy Schmidt’s (Ellie Kemper) unwavering optimism is the show’s auto-tuned theme song. As the show’s fans already know, it’s insanely catchy. I’ve found myself bursting out with “unbreakable!” all weekend. I’d guess that approximately 98 percent of the times I said it, it was completely out of context in the conversation I was having. The other two percent happened only because I was like, “Someone ask me what the name of that Bruce Willis movie is where he’s the only survivor.”
So imagine my excitement when I found the full version from the pilot was available to listen to all day.
After watching it over and over again this weekend, I realized that it might be more than just the catchiest theme song ever. In fact, it might be trying to say something. Similar to how the show itself delivers hard truths about human nature wrapped up in a smart joke, the theme song might just do the same thing.
Perhaps it wasn’t auto-tuned just for fun and just for ’00s nostalgia sake, but also to point out the fact that we often internet-ify hard news right after it breaks. Like one second it’s really serious and then the next second it’s a hilarious meme that we can’t stop passing around. The theme song isn’t the only time the show points this out.
As soon as Kimmy and her sisters get rescued from the bunker, they’re deemed “the mole women of Indiana.” This not only strips them of their dignity, but it also packages their story perfectly for salacious headlines. “Kidnapping victims” doesn’t quite have the same ring, does it? This point gets driven home in the pilot when Kimmy tries to tell Matt Lauer they actually don’t like that name and he completely ignores her. For a show that could have easily made jokes at the expense of its victims, it goes above and beyond to champion them as survivors who too often don’t get the respect they deserve. Tina Fey and Robert Carlock, you have my heart forever.
And theme song, you have my ears forever. So please, everyone know in advance, this will be my only response to requests to stop playing it: