Kim Kardashian just went blond — like really, really blond — and we have some feelings. You will, too.
1. Stop trying to be Beyoncé
Girl, we know. Yoncé is the queen of everything. Even Kate Middleton, the most perfect person on the face of the earth, was dying to be photographed with her while visiting New York. So first you married a big hip-hop star just like Beyoncé did and then you had an adorable baby with an unusual name like she did and now you’re trying to jack her hairstyle?
2. Did you and Jared Leto plan this?
We knew Jared Leto cut his hair and shaved, but then he went and popped up at Paris Fashion Week with platinum locks. Kim Kardashian cut her hair and also popped up at Paris Fashion Week with platinum locks. Coincidence? Is anything in the universe every really coincidence? Ponder that one for a while.
3. Didn’t we see her in The Lord of the Rings?
At the very least, she must have some Sindarin blood, if not a direct relation to Legolas. And judging from the terms of her new E! contract, there is definitely one Kardashian to rule them all.
4. Who would win a vampire battle, her or Spike from Buffy?
Technically a chip in Spike’s head prevents him from hurting humans, but much like when he convinces Buffy she’s not entirely human, we’re not sure someone with the earning power of Kim is entirely human, either. She’s basically a money-making machine who can suck our pockets dry. So who would win? No, really, who?
5. This would totally be her face when she gets sorted into Slytherin
She is soooooo Draco Malfoy, for real.
UPDATE (March 6): Tom Felton responded to all the Malfoy/Kim memes, saying:
— Tom Felton (@TomFelton) March 5, 2015
6. Maybe she’s prepping for a guest spot on Game of Thrones
Because she’s a dead ringer for Daenerys.
7. I wonder if Nicki Minaj wants her look back
Because, really, if it ain’t Beyoncé, it’s definitely Nicki.