Zing! Amy Poehler and Tina Fey's funniest Golden Globes one-liners
For the third year in a row, funny ladies Amy Poehler and Tina Fey took the helm at the Golden Globes and proved once again that they are, in fact, the hosts with the most — particularly when it comes to witty zingers.
After all, let's be honest... we'd gladly watch Poehler and Fey for three hours regardless of there being an award show attached. But getting to take in the industry's finest — and to watch this brilliant comedic duo make them laugh hysterically and squirm, in turns — is icing on the Golden Globes cake.
In celebration of another stellar performance from one of the most hilarious pairs in Hollywood, let's look at some of Poehler and Fey's best moments from the star-studded night.
When they said no one would be off limits... well, they weren't joking.
The pair started their monologue — which they told NBC they had to cut from 14 minutes to only 8 — by joking that the Golden Globes were a celebration of the best TV of the year, as well as "all of the movies North Korea was OK with."
Fey and Poehler quickly segued into the Sony hack and the film The Interview itself, noting that "the biggest story in Hollywood this year was when North Korea threatened an attack if Sony Pictures released The Interview, forcing us all to pretend we wanted to see it."
They made lighthearted quips about the, er, wildly successful film Wild. "Reese Witherspoon is here — loved her in the movie Wild. She did all her own walking, it was great," said Poehler.
They kidded about the movie Big Eyes, pointing out that "one of those big-eye paintings is here tonight. Let's check it out," as the camera panned to actress Emma Stone.
They also introduced the audience to "Cho Jong Un" — comedian Margaret Cho's spoof take on North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un — who later took the stage to air grievances about the show, including "You have no thousand babies playing guitar at the same time" and "Orange Is the New Black should be in the drama comedy." (Right?)
Then, in a move heralded by women the world over, they turned their attention to George Clooney and his new bride.
"George Clooney married Amal Alamuddin this year," said Fey. "Amal is a human rights lawyer who worked on the Enron case, was an advisor to Kofi Annan on Syria and was appointed to a three-person commission investigating rules of war violations in the Gaza strip. So, tonight, her husband is getting a lifetime achievement award."
And, as promised, Bill Cosby's ongoing rape allegations were not off limits, either.
Chatting a bit about the Meryl Streep movie Into the Woods, Poehler said, "In Into the Woods, Cinderella runs from her prince, Rapunzel is thrown from a tower for her prince and Sleeping Beauty just thought she was getting coffee with Bill Cosby."
She and Fey then began trading impersonations of Cosby.
It wasn't all such heavy stuff, though. Here are a few more fun zings Poehler and Fey delivered throughout the night:
Poehler: "Boyhood proves that there are still great roles for women over 40 as long as you get hired when you're under 40."
Fey: "Joaquin Phoenix is nominated for Inherent Vice, but obviously he isn't here tonight because he has said publicly that awards shows are total and utter bulls***. Oh hey, Joaquin! There he is!"
Poehler: "J.K. Simmons is here, or as Matthew McConaughey calls him, 'Just Keep Simmons.'"
Fey: "Steve Carell's Foxcatcher look took two hours to put on, including his hairstyling and makeup. Just for comparison, it took me three hours today to prepare for my role as human woman."
Poehler: "Jennifer Aniston is here tonight, nominated for the film Cake. We should explain that to the Hollywood people in the room: cake is, like, a fluffy dessert that people eat on their birthday."
Fey: "And birthdays are things people celebrate when they admit that they have aged."