Love is dead. Nicholas Sparks has split from his wife of 25 years, proving that there is no hope for any of us trying to find long-lived epic romance — but there is hope for hilarious Twitter commentary!
In a very un-Noah Calhoun-like move, Sparks is dumping Cathy despite the fact that she inspired pretty much every heroine in his saccharine-sweet books and films. They will not die at the exact same moment while holding hands. Turns out that only happens in the movies! Who knew.
“Cathy and I have separated,” he told People. “This is, of course, not a decision we’ve made lightly. We remain close friends with deep respect for each other and love for our children. For our children’s sake, we regard this as a private matter.”
Now that his literary kingdom is built upon a throne of lies, Sparks may want to tap into a new genre to help pay what is sure to be hefty alimony and child support payments. May we suggest the humor market? He could take some inspiration from Twitter, which has come up with some real gems in the wake of love’s gruesome murder.
Is the world ready for sad, angsty break-up novels from Nicholas Sparks?Attractive white people almost fighting instead of almost kissing
— 🍁erika, if you must🍂 (@weevilbabe) January 6, 2015
But seriously, it’s not nice to mock someone’s heartbreak. It’s funny as hell, but it’s not nice. We wish Nicholas and Cathy peace.