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9 Reactions I had while reading 2015’s Coachella lineup


It’s that time again, kids! Coachella is just around the corner and the festival just revealed the lineup for 2015.

Now, after perusing the lineup, I really do stress the word “kids.” This year’s list of featured artists has made it resoundingly clear that I am no longer in my early 20s. I’m left feeling tragically un-hipster, though super-excited that there are some bands taking the stage that were rocking out even before more old butt was born.

As someone who has never been to Coachella but has always wanted to go, the 2015 lineup has evoked some pretty strong reactions on my part. Upon closer research, I might even be inspired to buy a ticket. The city of Indio proper is, after all, only 149.03 miles from my Los Angeles home (I used MapQuest to get that info, which made me feel that much older) and I do drive a responsibly gas-efficient vehicle, so I really don’t have any excuse not to go. So who wants to help me cut off some jeans into daisy dukes and whip up a crocheted vest before April?

More: VIDEO: Leonardo DiCaprio busts a move at Coachella

Here’s what’s going through my head as I’m checking out the roster:

1. Steely Dan? Yesssssss

I love ’70s rock and Steely Dan is the Just flip on “Reelin’ in the Years” and suddenly I’m a high schooler riding in the back of a boat on Lake Nacimiento, illegally sipping an alcoholic beverage on a warm summer’s day. How the heck did these guys end up on this list of bands? Not that I’m complaining. The lineup also includes some other righteous old dudes that are pretty exciting, like AC/DC (who is headlining the first day), The Reverend Horton Heat and Bad Religion.

2. Holy ’90s and early ’00s hot-boy music

Bands like Built to Spill, Brand New and Interpol were what all the fine sk8ter bois of my youth were listening to.

3. I wonder if Robert Pattinson is going to be there

I think I saw on Good Morning America that Pattinson is pretty hot and heavy with FKA Twigs, so he’s got to put in an appearance. On the same note, I love Ryan Adams — is he going to be joined onstage by his wife, Mandy Moore?

4. Please, please tell me that Jason Segel is going to attend

Because I’m a huge nerd and I’ve watched every single one of Judd Apatow’s movies with the commentary on (at least twice), I know that Jason Segel is a Belle and Sebastian fan. Since I always thought he and I could be best friends, I might just try to bump into him on the second day of the festival. No, I’m not a stalker. Well… maybe.

5. Whatever happened to Something Corporate?

“Konstantine” was my nine-minute, 36-second anthem during an emo period. I still don’t understand why Andrew McMahon went rogue, but I’d love to hear his new stuff.

6. Drake is a hipster?

Not that all of the other acts are hipsters, but Drake seems like a super pop-y wild-card choice to headline the last day of the festival. I still think of him as Jimmy Brooks on Degrassi.

7. Wu-Tang Clan ain’t nuthin’ to f*** with

Free word association when I saw Ghostface Killah on the list. Moving on…

8. Is George Ezra in Better Than Ezra?

Um, nope! He wasn’t born until 1993, when Better Than Ezra (which I used to play on repeat back in the day) was already starting to record albums. I got his birthday info from using the Google. Cute little guy, though, and extra cool points for putting Sir Ian McKellen in his “Listen to the Man” video.

9. Hey! I actually do have a lot of these artists on my MP3 device

I love Jack White, MO, Alabama Shakes, Florence and the Machine, Alesso, David Guetta and Hozier. Maybe I’m not as square as I thought.

Now listen to the Coachella 2015 playlist

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