John Oliver really doesn’t like celebrating New Year’s Eve and he’s taken to Last Week Tonight for a pretty powerful rant against the holiday.
And while we love Oliver, we have to disagree with this particular bash because New Year’s Eve is awesome.
1. Everyone isn’t sick of the holidays
This one speaks for itself, but I’m always disappointed when the season is over. In the moment, it’s easy to be stressed. But once it’s gone, I realize each year how meaningful that time with family and friends really is.
2. You can never argue with another day off work
Heck, if our jobs want to pay us for spending a night blowing into noisemakers and wearing silly hats, we’re never going to argue against it.
3. I’m never drunk, cold and tired… just tired… and maybe a little tipsy
Everyone doesn’t crowd New York during New Year’s Eve. Sure, it’s a popular destination. But I prefer the comfort of my own home, with my family and friends, and lots of good Champagne.
4. It isn’t that hard to stare at Ryan Seacrest
There’s a reason Seacrest is on the air… OK, two reasons. Sure he’s good at his job, but he’s also pretty easy on the eyes. I could name hundreds of people I’d rather watch less than Seacrest. Not to mention, I’m a fan of the New Year’s Eve concerts. They make for great background noise at my yearly party. (See above.)
5. At least we aren’t all staring at our cell phone
Oliver says interacting with strangers is one of the three pillars that makes New Year’s Eve terrible. Yes, because how dare we all glance up from our cell phones for a night and interact with real humans?
6. If you’re sitting around on a couch, you’re at the wrong party
Fireworks, a game of pool and Wii drinking games are some of my New Year’s Eve go-tos, and I highly recommend all of them. Clearly, you have no idea how to host a good party if all there is to do is sit on the couch.
7. Doing a cleanse wouldn’t get me off the hook
If I told my friends I was doing a cleanse, they would tell me I was crazy and shove some french fries in my hand. No, seriously, I’m one of those gluten-free people (and my reasons are an article for another day), but suffice it to say, I barely get away with that. Because my friends are interested and invested in my life.
8. You can be in bed by 11:45 either way
Just celebrate off a different time zone’s clock. Unless you’re in Samoa. Then you’re the first one to welcome the New Year and we can’t really help you there. But for me, in Arizona, I’ll be watching that ball drop by 10:00 p.m. Which leaves plenty of time for at least one Die Hard movie, thank you very much.
Check out Oliver’s full New Year’s Eve bash below.