Just when you thought the era of Teletubbies was over, BBC is gearing up to churn out 60 new episodes of the offputting little creepers, er, creatures. But we’re still having nightmares from these seven eerie moments in the original series.
1. Magic house
Overlooking the fact that they all sit and peek at the “magic house” for several minutes like total voyeurs, what the eff is up with the little fellow inside? We can’t help but feel like there is some strange subliminal messaging or subconscious brain warping at play here. Just look at scary sailor puppet’s hollow eyes. Weeeeeiiiiiirrrd.
2. Teleporting Tinky-Winky
Hollow drumbeat. Creepy little kid giggles. Scary dude popping out of nowhere. This has all the makings of a B-list horror movie. We wouldn’t be surprised if in the new series it is revealed that Tinky-Winky is a murderer who winds up wearing Po’s skin.
3. Tickle, tickle, tickle
Um, err, well… that’s not Dipsy’s tummy you’re tickling, little buddy. There’s far too much sexual innuendo in this clip for it to be a coincidence, no?
For starters, they set the tone with the sun baby (more on that later). And it just gets worse from there. There are giant insects, frenetic dancing, nonsensical food factories… it feels like the second half of the trippy boat ride from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. That or a PSA on the potential side effects of using speed. This is your brain — this is your brain on Teletubbies.
5. Holy bejeezus
Where do these things even come from? They’re always just popping out left and right, right and left. It scares the bejeezus out of us every single time. They’d make for an excellent haunted house.
6. Transmission received
It’s creepy enough that these weird little aliens get transmissions through televisions implanted in their stomachs. Seriously, we can’t be the only ones weirded out by that. But the enthusiastic pelvic thrust and glowing dipstick-shaped antenna of Dipsy is truly the stuff nightmares are made of.
7. Here comes the
British student, Jess Smith, came forward today to lay claim to her face — the face of the giggling baby sun from Teletubbies, that is. Perhaps she waited 19 years to own this fact because she realizes her baby sun face still haunts our dreams.
Exhibit A: As the giggling baby’s face starts to transition out of the sun — to the tune of yet more creepy laughter — its features start to take a decidedly sinister turn.
And there you have it, people — total demon baby status. This is some twisted stuff, y’all. Aren’t you happy we took this walk down memory lane? Sweet dreams!
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