Benedict Cumberbatch may be winning 2014, but his character, Smaug, thinks he sucks.
Smaug, the fire-breathing killer dragon from Peter Jackson’s Hobbit movies, was a featured guest on The Colbert Report this week, and it turns out the beast has a lot to say. “I’m an old-school worm. Keepin’ it real, yo! Doing what dragons do. Boom!” Smaug (voiced, of course, by Cumberbatch) informed Colbert. “I invented the hostile takeover.”
When asked about what was coming up for Smaug as far as future projects, he replied, “I was offered a role on Sherlock. I turned them down, of course. I mean, who wants to play second fiddle to that hack, Cumberbatch?”
“Martin Freeman doesn’t seem to mind,” Colbert quipped, speaking of Cumberbatch’s co-star on both Sherlock and The Hobbit. “Martin’s cheap, he doesn’t need much feeding apparently,” reasoned Smaug. “Sweet little Martin. Little, little, little man.” Keepin’ it real indeed, Smaug.
The reference in the interview is hilarious, and it’s great to see that despite all of his successes over the past couple years, Cumberbatch still doesn’t take himself too seriously.
But all the Cumberbatch loyals out there shouldn’t fret too much about Smaug’s smack talk. It turns out nobody is safe and Smaug’s s*** list is not short. Liberals, other dragons and even Orlando Bloom really grind Smaug’s gears.
Smaug has a real bone to pick with liberals in particular and seems to blame them for his waning career. “It’s just typical. Liberal Hollywood bias,” Smaug says. “It’s hard for conservatives to get good roles in this town. That’s why Kelsey Grammer and I are always up for the same part.”
Colbert wasn’t about to take any boo-hooing from the gargantuan reptile. “Look, you aren’t playing the dragon card here, are you, Smaug? Because not all dragons get bad press,” the host implored. “Look, Stephen, I’m not asking for sympathy,” Smaug replied. “But I am — but I am talking about real dragons.”
Check out the full hilarious interview below.
Image: The Colbert Report/Comedy Central